When High…

When high
When high on drugs
When high on weed
A true and genuine experience experienced in one of the most beautiful legal places ever, Amsterdam

Disclaimer: Loads of curse words ahead and sorry for not filtering it out because when you high, you just want to let it go and let it be that way

Adds a more authentic feel to it, does it not?

This is not for everyone and in no way I am telling you to go get fucked up and get high, I am not promoting this.

This is just my experience, me sharing it and me liking it and me not going to give a damn on what people think of me because this means a lot to me and I want to share it with the world

The entire sentences below, I wrote it when I was high and even a small part of the disclaimer to my two of my best friends when I was super high and I am surprised they read through all of it. If that is not dedication, I don’t know what is…

 

We all have what we like, and here we go…

From this point below, you are entering into a time and place where I was high and all these thoughts just came pouring out, there is no structure to it, it just flows out endlessly.

 

Like you know my mind has never been so relaxed before

It’s so calm

Not giving a fuck

You just go into this deep zone
And you fall and you stay there

And then you relax

And then you just stay there, in that zone

You don’t want to let it go
So you let it be and let that peace engulf you

Not giving a damn fuck about anything

Just sitting/lying/walking, doing nothing

It’s so peaceful and so calm

The most simplest words have such a good power on what you feel

Why do people try to write and show it with all these formatted sentences and these symbols behind each word when you can just write without filtering anything

Just write what comes to you
And write and fall

It’s so peaceful and feels so good to be and feel this way

You want to keep doing it

Then you just listen and pay attention to all these tiny details you have never seen before

It feels so fucking good and orgasmic to feel it and be in it

You see everything just as it is

Nothing filtered, nothing covered

You just see without caring a damn fuck on what’s beneath or underneath them

You just see it all in plain colours for once, not in those coloured shades you always had to see

For once just see the world as it is but also think about it, but not in the way it makes you die but in the way it is meant to be enjoyed and questioned with simple curiosity

It’s a beautiful rhythm that is so peaceful

It’s nothing but peace and calm
You want to bask it all in and you want to let it be like that for as long as it can be

It’s good to have these times in life where you for once absolutely do not need to give a fuck about anyone, not even yourself

Just be in that moment and just be in it

With yourself
With people you love
With the world and everything in it

Is this how it feels to be so carefree?
Not to care anymore, not in a bad way, never in the bad way

But in the way that you feel good about yourself and everyone around you

Never care about that chaos the world is in, you are in…

Just letting go

It’s just it feels so fucking good to feel this way right now and you have no idea how it feels being in this state of mind with yourself and your body…
It’s just peaceful and I have never been so easy to let it go and now that I have done it with loads of help from weed and a place where it’s legal.

It feels fucking right and I wish I could feel this way every day but I am not going to sulk on it because I simply can’t sulk and be sad because those feelings ain’t in me when I am like this; all peaceful and happy, the happy where you are happy and at peace and just being yourself with and the world is in the right balance and fine…

I feel that how much ever I write, it’s simply not enough because no matter how much you want to try to put it all out in words, there are some moments in times you have to be in and live through that so you know how it feels

I know these authors and poets and writers do it and have it all worked it in out in their novels, poetry, and words but some of them just have to be lived through and now that I am living in it, I can tell you it feels fucking amazing

I love words, don’t get me wrong, words are my identity and symbols and my source and interpretation and everything that it is to get it all out, but sometimes it’s funny how those words can also not be enough

 

I know there is no such thing as perfect according to the world but perfect times do exist and this time right now is a living breathing moment

Being happy with the way you are
Being happy with the world as it is
Seeing the world in the colours they always were in and not trying to figure out what each of those colours or signs mean
Just seeing and breathing it in and for once and not worrying about yourself and everything around you
Just so peaceful

 

And you know I am trying to get those feelings in which you trap yourself in that chaos which destroys you but I simply can’t at this moment because that’s how high I am right now

Like how fucking great is that?!
Living life at that pinnacle is truly damn peaceful

I won’t lie that I am feeling 0.000000001 chaotic but that’s just another added beauty to it because all my peaceful feelings are just dusting it away and throwing it into the wind where it gets lost into all the other mixtures of chaos leaving me in this universe of peace and calm and tranquility

Yes tranquility is the word I needed and now that I have it
I am going to end this now

Wow I have written a lot
When I come to my senses and away from this feeling
Away from leaving this feeling and place
Damn I am gonna always wonder how I was when I wrote this and it’s such a good memory to hold on to and listening to my playlist while writing this is such a beauty

And I truly do apologize for writing all of this when I am high but hey I fucking love it so meh

Imagine for each time I get high
I write about different topics and different feelings with each time I get high

Just that one thought, one topic, one feeling and focus on that one sole thing and let it all pour out…

The things that are going to come out and I can find out

Wow now that’s just pure genius and pure simplicity

You know you just want to get it all out when you feel this way because you never know when you can have that chance again

So right now I am going to try and just let it be with myself and the place right here because who wouldn’t love some of that mystery and peace to one own’s self

Out of the many in the galaxy, only you and I know now

(The following thoughts next morning when high, traveling back to Nottingham through the coach and looking at the world outside)

 

You know when you listen to music when you are high
You hear everything so clearly
It’s so clear
The voice, the words it’s so clear and you can finally see it all

It’s so good and right to finally hear everything they meant us to hear

There was this tunnel we all were passing through
And it was dark and the light stood there illuminating the tunnel
And passing through it was so calm
I saw everything so clearly
The lights in the dark
I heard everything so peacefully, the lyrics, the beats, everything in the song I heard so clearly and vividly
I saw everything so slow, not the painful dying slow but the slow that is filled with grace and calmness
Where your eyes just focus on what’s in front of you and nothing else
Not giving a damn about anything else

Damn it was good

Every song seems to melt into the mood I feel right now
Every lyric seems right in this time right now
It’s such a beautiful time indeed

It’s always going to stay the same
This way I feel right now is always going to be in my heart as a beautiful memory and everything in it is true

 


-Roshni Marath Jairaj

Published by

Its Roshni

I write. I write what I feel and wonder. I write what I am afraid to tell others. Words speak for me. When I write, I feel safe and good. I love to write about anything that comes to my mind. I get a bit lazy tho. Sometimes, I am just too immature for my age. Sometimes, too mature. Sometimes, I myself don't know All I know is that I am a human living life

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