After Death

So, I fall asleep pretty fast or I take ages to hit the slumber. It’s always one of those. So when I take ages to sleep, it always leads to the paths of overthinking and countless thoughts clouding my mind.

Yesterday I started thinking of death and what would happen to my things after my death. Would they be stored in a box somewhere and be kept into the depths of unkown or be savoured or be burnt to ashes or be thrown or be donated or be left as it is?

After death what is supposed to happen to my soul? Is there a heaven, hell or the middle place? Once my mom told me that God was noting down all our sins and good deeds, so that when the time comes, God will know where to put us and that scares me because I have done questionable number of things that might not earn me a spot in Heaven and that’s just the deeds up till now.

Do I start to live an other life in the after world because I can’t imagine my life ending after death for some reason. I want to keep living, I want more of it even after I die because it frighthens me as to what lies ahead after death.

What if I have some unfinished quest, does my soul depart the face of the earth after completing it or my soul just leaves unfinished.

What happens to the people I love? Are they going to be affected by my death? What about me? How can I live without them in the after life? Do I get versions of them where I am or I meet other people and they become my family or do I get to be with my loved ones who have died before and it’s a reunion with them. A Happily Ever After in The After Life. You know like the one in the movie Coco. That was a beautiful movie!! (Insert Tears)

An other intriguing aspect to consider, what if I just disintegrate and that’s it. Nada, Zilch, Nothing. That’s it. Here is the end to Roshni and nothing lies forward.

Sometimes I look forward to death because it’s an escape from all the problems that tie me down but then I fear of what I am going to miss and do not want to die ever and I also do not want my family and friends to leave me and join the after life.

There is so much to look forward to in life. I worry about not living my life to the fullest which is a fear when death arrives. What if I might have not done nothing? How would I feel then? I guess that’s for an other time.

Death is what evokes the strongests of emotions in me. It is an unpredictable factor in our lives and we not know when we are going to succumb to it. We can’t control it and it scares me.

If there is a God Of Death, how does it feel? Does it feel remorseful doing what it does or does it feel like a responisbility. Does it know the consequences of doing so? Does it know it’s being hated? Does it know the value of what it’s taking, what it does to people? Does it select people and if so why? Why does death exist? Why can’t we all just be beings living?

If I had an interview with the God Of Death, it would be very interesting and I would let you all know how it went.

I have imagined the way I want to die, NOT anytime soon. I want to die in my sleep peacefully in my parent’s hands. I want to die in their arms peacefully and happily. Do we not all think about our deaths at some point in our lives?

As I am an only child, I wonder on how am I going to survive the moment something bad happens to my parents. They are my only family and if they go away, I am going to be all alone with no comfort of my family’s presence to love me or to console me when I am upset ot just be there for me and I for them.

I hate having those thoughts but sometimes I have to think about it because it prepares me, I guess in a sort of way to face the fact that it will happen one day and I do not think I will ever be ready for it. God forbids that day come.

When people die, what happens to them. I always think about that. Is that the end or is there something more. I have read theories, seen edits of people in heaven looking down on us and so on.

Once my mom said that, when people die, they become stars in the sky and they look out for us. So when my Aunt died, I always believe that she is the brigthest star in the sky looking out for me and when I look up, I feel relieved and comforted because she is there with me and so are everyone else. I like that.

Death is a very sad being, I see why people do not like it much. It does take away what you love but sometimes sets them free. We should think about that as well. Sometimes death liberates those beings in ways life possibly cannot do.

I try to think about the positive side to death but that above is the only one that comes to mind, liberation of the dead from this world.

Death, I honestly don’t know what to expect of and from you, but please try not be very cruel to me and the ones I care about.

4 thoughts on “After Death

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