It was an on the spur ride

              
Let me paint you a picture here. A picture of what I did. 

I roamed around these streets filled with skyscrapers that soared up so high in the sky. 
I knew they are so high because I simply could not get them all to fit in one frame on the shot I wanted to take.
I feel oddly at home even though the home I once was in was miles away.
I felt at home when I came here, I guess it was those big blue windows that reflected light made it home. It was perhaps those big skyscrapers in the city and the bay front I once knew of made it home.  

After admiring the building, I walked along the bay, A view that needed admiration. Everything lining up waiting to be awed and gawked upon. 
I took selfies of myself being happy and silly to capture these moments, so that when I look back on these pictures, I am able to remember the moment and what I liked to do. 
Looking at the water, then onto the buildings and the statues felt pleasant and calm. 
It gave me a whiff of nostalgia and provided me with the city magic I needed. 
I was alone in this adventure of mine. 

Right beside the bay walk, there was a small green ground where the food festival was about to take place.
I saw families, friends, couples walk hand in hand smiling and admiring.
I liked the presence of myself. I could not create any chaos or unhappiness to myself in such places.
I admire being in them but could not help on how it would feel if I were to be with family, friends or a lover. 
A moment of happiness couldn't seem to last longer than a few minutes before the storm hits my family. It doesn't happen all time but it happens. I wasn't keen on taking that chance, not today. 
 
I saw people eat the delicacies from different stalls with their friends and family. Enjoying and laughing, having a good time. Being around this whole celebration and looking at it made me feel awkward. 
It made me feel like I was supposed to be with someone, anyone just so that I could pass as someone blending with the crowd. 
I then looked around if there were people like me, alone and enjoying.
Not a lot were there but yes, there were some. 
I realized then, why am I being so bothered about this? I am having fun and enjoying. Isn’t that the point after all? 
Why risk bringing a factor that could cause you to frown and worry? 

The past and the present has made me afraid to bring along a family along with these adventures. My happiness fades away as soon as a dispute occurs. It happens quite commonly. 
Sometimes I think it is me. I think I could be the reason these moments of unhappiness occur. The past and the present are continuously proving so. 
This is why I venture out alone, not that I don’t mind it most of the times, but sometimes when it gets lonely, it is good to have a hand with you. 
I look out to the world and then look at the other people
Is it something that’s wrong with me or am I just different with my approach? 
I wish I had something of that sorts.
This is all I know
This is what I know how to do 
 

I was right after all. I ended up to go on and have a great time being in the celebrations.
It was because there was no one in that present moment who was capable to ruin my happiness and contentment I felt.
For a fact I know that I love to explore by myself and I can do it wherever and whenever.
There is a unique fun that lies in that. 
You are the controller of the day, if you screw up you have no one else to blame but yourself. There is no one to pin point and blame you for the mistakes caused. No sort of remarks to bring you down. 
You get to do what you want and manipulate the day to your likings. 
It is all you and some times it is good. 

4 thoughts on “It was an on the spur ride

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s