I lost my sleep

It is late night or more so the cusp of a new dawn 

I hear the sounds of the night and watch the streets remain empty 

I listen to the winds roll across the city 

I can see the strong waves of water and wind gush over the city 

Droplets of rain stay on the glasses of the windows tonight and I will bid them adieu soon

The blinds in my room rumble from the winds of the outside world 

The windows are shut yet their force can be felt in this small world of mine. 

I am left with a lot to think. 

In this night, what are we?

I listen to music that was meant for this night. 

I listen to the beats that make me question my destiny 

I listen to rhythms that challenge my beliefs 

I have the gift of watching the world from a magnitude and I use it best according to my capabilities 

I sometimes watch the people walk on the streets and try to wonder what their story in that precise moment is 

I look out to the windows of the other buildings that surround me and try to find a sign of humanity 

Whatever I have written now has stemmed from watching a movie “I lost my body” 

An emotionally gripping movie that takes us through a journey of destiny and pain

Taking risks, living through pain, deviating from the prewritten path of destiny. 

Watching movies helps me understand myself and the world

I watch movies to learn pieces of information that I think I may not learn from anywhere else

I watch them to understand and discover new realms of imagination and theories that I may never find in conversations with myself or the people around me 

I watch them to escape from time momentarily 

I pay attention to them so that I feel 

I watch them to understand because I believe that they make me special 

I love to possess a knowledge that pertains only to me and when sharing it, it makes me feel unique. 

As I listen to the soundtrack of ‘I lost my body’ I am struggling to find the ending to my thoughts now 

My mind can only think of the brilliancy of the movie but also of the night that I am passing through right now

As I listen to this music, I am lost in the moments and in the world of my own thoughts and that of the movie’s. 

Every step outside the hallway frightens me as I have no desire to meet anyone and would rather be writing this. 

Every step inching towards my door nerves me because I do not want to talk to anyone as I wish to be left alone during this time. 

Perhaps, I shouldn’t be trying hard to figure out how to end this. 

I do not feel the need to stress out the manner of words I want to put on this

Sometimes, the ending is better left just as it is, without over thinking.

I feel obliged to tell you more but whatever I will be writing would just be a rephrasal of my initial thought. 

So, allow me to slip into my world and my routine and let me wish you all a good night. 

I am right here, just away from your eyes. 

2 thoughts on “I lost my sleep

  1. Beautiful post. I can relate with it. There are many things common in between us. Looking through window and thinking about life and people, observing people and thinking about their life and struggle, watching movies to understand life and different perspective of life.

    Liked by 1 person

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