Chasing Aesthetics

Something that I wrote a while back. A long time ago

I watch these Youtubers create aestehtic videos with such wonderful editing of the places they go to or their daily life and it makes me wonder, how can I achieve this in my life? What do I need to do to make sure this aesthetic is there in my life as well?

I come up with various ways on how but at the end of the day, their aesthetic is very different from what I want to achieve. Sure, it does look beautiful and amazing but I don’t think I would be entirely comfortable doing that.

These aesthetic videos and photos, it is easy to capture them but living such a life is hectic. The life that I lead right now, that is pretty aesthetic in it’s own ways. I just don’t record my life or give it these fancy edits, once I do it, I am sure I can achieve that type of aesthetic I want.

Watching these videos and looking at these photographs, I realise it is so easy to create such perfection for people to see because of the technology and the skills you put into this, but at the end of the day it is just life. Life that they capture, edit and put out there. There are so many unfiltered behind the scenes that we do not get to see.

So what we are left is with this craving of wanting to achieve that without understanding the backstory, the context of those people who got there.

There are people who truly live an aesthetic life style and there is nothing wrong with that. I too might like it but just not every single day. I do not enevy those people but there are those fleeting moments where I wish, that would be such a cool life to live! There are different life styles suited for different people out there and I have found my own but can’t hep crib once a while what I could do something different.

When creating something to put out there, we can do manipulate it to our likings and show a life that we desire to the people out there. That’s the beauty of it. Some people live it in reality and some just don’t.

Now the trend of VSCO girls has taken over the world. What has the world come to?! It has it’s good and bad.

To know more about the VSCO trend, here is a video explaining it!!

I just wish that gen-z would realise that this is not what life is. There might be kids out there who might have the impression that in order to fit into the constructs of this newly created world and to have a relevancy among people, they need to do this which would make them achieve a new cool and a new status. That is not what life is kids. Yes, this trend is cool and fun to do but do not take it to the heart. Do not let it cloud your reality on life.

The VSCO life style and the tumble life style, I often wish I could have some of that in my life but then I wonder why? Why do I want to show off and to whom? I just want to live the best of my life and do what I want and have fun while doing it. I too can capture pictures of the good and the happy parts of my life and post it.

There are moments we can take and make it into that aesthetic parts we wish.

That is what I do on my Instagram. I post the happy parts of me, the best memories so that when I look back on it, there is sort of happy aestehtic I can admire. In a way, I am living that life.

Hi Rounald

If interested in the whole experience of reading this, do watch this along while reading this! It adds to the uncanny.

A man has been created out of the blinds amongst the curtains. 

I discovered him one night when I couldn’t sleep. I was staring hard at the desk and curtains in front of me, shapes started to emerge within the blinds. His birth was a gradual process and he was thus born.  

I couldn’t sleep despite the amount of trickery I tried on myself. My mind outwitted me. 

I spoke to him. He seemed nice. Too tall and lean, it scared me. He was cloaked in darkness. 

He seemed uninviting. 

He watched every move. 

I did not want to be scared of him.

The first step was acknowledging his existence. 

It was only fair to give my friend a name. 

He was my creation. So, I gave him his name, Rounald. 

I connected with his name. It felt intimate. 

It was hard to sleep knowing his darkness just stared at me. He moved funny. He did not move from his spot, yet he was all over the place.

He was like one of those tall balloons high up in the sky with hands and legs that moved around in the air. 

I kept watching him. 

I stared at him intensely and had conversations. It was one sided but satisfying. 

After a point, my visions started to blur, and I saw him leaping all over. He no longer was my Rounald. 

I told him to quit it. 

I was afraid of him now.

I turned away from him, turned over to left side of the bed and slept.

I wanted to peek a look and see if he was still there, lurking 

I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I was tired and did not want to give him the satisfaction, but I was mostly scared. 

Nowadays, I do not want to step into the bedroom when the lights are off. 

I know he would be there in his usual spot.

How do I know? 

It’s because I have felt a cold draft of wind behind my back at the very thought of him. A physical coldness now encapsulates me. 

It was chilling then but now, romantic. 

I am still scared but my fears are now being washed over. 

Slow and steady wins the game. 

I have created him. That’s the fact.

To live alongside him or to deny his existence, that was my call. 

I chose the former

Now, I sleep at ease knowing he watches over me.