Changes

This phrase, everything happens for the best and Change is good. I do not know what to make of it.

What is the protocol here? What is expected of me?

Changes simply kept happening everywhere and I slowly felt myself loosing my grasp on the world I lived in.

 

Incident that took place at August 2018

There was this small yogurt place down in box park, Jumeirah. The last time I had been there was with my family and grandparents. It was a beautiful time indeed.

I wished to go back there again because of box park and that small place amidst the fancy shops, big ship containers designs beautifully and when the night sets in,  beautiful lights surround and create the most magical and beautiful vibe.

My cousins had come to Dubai and we took them around La Mer and box park. It was Dubai’s highlight. Everything about this place had a certain aura and magic to it. Growing up around these streets and witnessing the changes around was one of a kind experience.

So coming back to the yogurt place, to mark the end of my day with my cousins, I wished to go there and have a frozen yogurt, It was always a tradition, whenever we would go there, we would always have that frozen yogurt. Big enough for a family because we weren’t that much of a sweet tooth when it came to things like these but for other desserts, yes.

So, in the hopes and excitement of getting a yogurt, I was filled with emotions and when we reached there, we were unable to find it. I still did not lose hope but it all came crashing down when the security guard over there told us that that place closed down months ago.

At that very moment, my heart dropped into the deepest pit of my body, then it broke into small pieces and was scattered all over into the depths of that pit. It felt as if going into a black void and with no way out to see the surface ever again.

That change, why was that change for the best or for the good? That change was bad. Businesses shutting down, people losing jobs, this country was becoming so costly to live in. The old Dubai essence whizzed away. This was not the Dubai I once grew up in. Certain parts of it still remain the same, but still. Why did that change happen? What good was it?

 

giphy

My home, changed so much and I love it to the best. Leaving it is always was the hard part. When I had to leave my home for uni, that change. It was nice at first but then it took for a worse turn when I got homesick and cried every day. How was that change good or for the best? Probably it was for the best because I was getting a good education and making my life ready.

But what good were the changes at my home? They weren’t great, no one was happy.

 

“People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they’re really saying is that something you didn’t want to happen at all… has happened.”

-A quote from the movie you’ve got mail. 

A quote so true.

 

Right now

Change is the only thing that seems to be one of the constants in my life right now. Starting with family, the most fundamental root, I wish I could say everything is for the best and continue to keep the positive facade, but some times it’s not and it worries me sick about the present and the future.

giphy-1

I worry about changes a lot. I look forward to the good changes in life, don’t we all?

I still can’t place my feelings on how I feel about change. For the worst or for the best? Is change life’s way of spicing up our’s and it’s lives. Is change a living entitiy that is in all our lives and can only thrive like this in every movement of time?

I also find myself changing a bit, it might be a silly or an insigficant change, but it does matter to me. When it comes to us, every single detail matters. It’s like a spider web, you mess with one string, the whole foundation just falls apart.

I had this habit, whenever I missed my mother, I used to play old malaylam songs because it reminded me of her and when she used to sign and hum to the tunes. It was embedded in me since I was a child. And intially when I came to uni, crying my heart out to it was what I did. I always knew what I was getting myself into when the songs came, long hours of crying and pain.

But now, as I play these songs, I do feel myself drown in the sorrow and pain of my mom not being there with me. The pain of being miles apart resurfaces but I once have not cried to it ever since I got back from my vacations. All of you might find this as a small change, but like I said, even the tiniest of change is a huge deal

I also find people changing, for some profounding reason for the good but then there are the basket cases where I have lost hope in.

So far, it has all been good. I am meeting new and amazing people.

As time gets ticking, my future keeps changing as well, every day has it’s own changes. I am anxious but also excited to see what the future has in store for me.

I am happy with some of the changes so far, exciting changes and moments have been happening for one of my best friend and I couldn’t be more happier and proud of her because she has worked so hard and she desreves it. I am happy with some of the changes that have also been happening to me. Through bad times I have learnt in some good lessons and changes.

And just a few minutes back, I have been blessed with the most amazing news for my family. I am not saying anything out loud because I do not want to jinx or anyone to jinx it because there are some people in the world who really would go to all lengths on destroying one’s family and peace of mind.

 

It’s time to end, and here is how I think I am doing

So, I am getting around just fine despite the storm… 

– Roshni Marath Jairaj

 

 

A week of philosophies, Day 6

This is a new thing that I am trying and focussing on.

Few philosophies that I like can resonate with, that can express my feelings or concepts that simply I needed to hear and be inspired by.

A week of philosophies. 7 different ways to look and learn about various aspects and views of life.

7 days to learn new, different 7 philosophies and incorporate these learnings into my life.

 

Day 6 September 16th 2018

Today’s philosophy: Karma

tumblr_ozybfaJwMj1weogo2o1_500.gif

What is Karma?

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

— Elbert Hubbard

“What goes around comes around.” That’s the basic rule of Karma. How Karma functions.

This use of the term suggests a lack of personal power or responsibility for being at both the cause and the effect of what occurs in one’s life. Using the phrase “it’s my karma” suggests victimhood, and karma is anything but victimhood.

Just as gravity is a law of the physical world, so is karma a law of the spiritual world. We are held responsible for our actions and, more precisely, for the intention of our actions. This responsibility exists within the context of an individual soul’s relationship with God. When one deliberately disobeys the will of God, karma is accrued. It is the intent of one’s actions that generate karma.

Why this scares and intrigues me?

Like gravity, karma is so basic we often don’t even notice it.

— Sakyong Mipham

To be punished or to be gifted for our actions and deeds.

I never believed in the whole Karma notion a few years back, but my good and wrong actions got what it deserved and gave me what I needed to have in a whole different way and story. It always did. Yet I never believed in it why?

When my friend told me about Karma, I still had a hard time believing it, but then I did a reflection on life and it’s workings. That’s when it hit me. It was there all this time. It really was there it really did exist.

This has now become a concept I truly believe in but also wonder why it works and exists. Both for good and bad. I often would wonder how the world would function if not for this.

Would people be pursuing the wrong actions and never get punished for it? What about the good folks, will they get what they deserve? How and why?

There are times when Karama has worked in the worst ways possible, and I wonder why. I wonder why for my family, friends and myself. What heinous actions have we done to deserve the worst? Is it because of the actions of our loved ones that affect us? Or are these the actions that we have committed unknowingly?

I often wonder why God would do this? Sometimes the struggles we are being put through, I wonder why. Did we do something in our past lives to deserve this? Or does it just happen?

 

The world works in it’s fine and mysterious ways that can sometimes kill or fix people.

tenor

 

But then it also worked in the most amazing best ways as possible. I am not a very bad person, okay maybe in the deepest corners of my soul, I do wish people that I don’t like or who have done the absolute worst to my family and me should deserve the worst, or they should get a taste of their own medicine. And boy oh boy, have they got it!!

BLuF

 

I have a love-hate relationship with this force. I can’t expect it to work in my favour at all times, but I also know that I can expect it to be my side and it will come to me when I deserve it.

So far, this year has given me all kinds of karma I deserved in both good and bad ways.

I often forget Karma at times and sometimes end up doing things that I am not so proud of and have also suffered from my actions in my own way.

tumblr_ob2qi8Yuj51r8570lo6_250.gif

 

If not now, then definitely later I have. Each bad and good story of my life teaches me different lessons and reminds me of one thing every time.

Things happen, sometimes they are meant to be and sometimes not. We should try to see the best in it, and also sometimes it’s okay we can’t adapt to it or see the best in everything. We should try. We should do good actions and deeds if we expect the world to be kind to us as well.

 

(A Special Thank You to this song for helping me out. Even though I didn’t understand some of the words in it, it still helped me connect more with Karma and also helped me write. So, Thank You for making this song. )

 

Quote to end the day with

A reminder to myself and to us all. Good actions get you good karma, and wrong actions get you the absolute worst from the lot. 

-Roshni Marath Jairaj

 

 

 

A week of philosophies, Day 3

This is a new thing that I am trying and focussing on.

Few philosophies that I like can resonate with, that can express my feelings or concepts that simply I needed to hear and be inspired by.

A week of philosophies. 7 different ways to look and learn about various aspects and views of life.

7 days to learn new, different 7 philosophies and incorporate these learnings into my life.

Day 3, September 13th 2018

Today’s philosophy: Stocism

tumblr_m9mmvbgVVX1qlny4mo1_500.jpg

What is Stoicism?

“External thinks are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now.” 

Marcus Aurelius

In simple words, Stoicism sets out to remind us of how unpredictable the world can be.

Stoicism doesn’t concern itself with complicated theories about the world, but with helping us overcome destructive emotions and act on what can be acted upon.

The Stoics focus on two things:

  1. How can we lead a fulfilling, happy life?
  2. How can we become better human beings?

The goal of Stoicism is to attain inner peace by overcoming adversity, practicing self-control, being conscious of our impulses, realizing our ephemeral nature and the short time allotted.

It’s important that we understand the obstacles that we face and not run from them; it’s vital that we learn to transmute them into fuel to feed our fire. But at the very root of the thinking, there is a very simple, though not easy, way of living. Take obstacles in your life and turn them into your advantage, control what you can and accept what you can’t.

To understand more in depth about the concept, I have put down a video that can make you all understand the concept with ease and clarity.

Origin

“Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.”

Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Stoicism originated as a Hellenistic philosophy, founded in Athens by Zeno of Citium (modern day Cyprus), c. 300 B.C.E. … The name comes from the Stoa Poikile, or painted porch, an open market in Athens where the original Stoics used to meet and teach philosophy.

Why was I inspired to choose this?

“How does it help…to make troubles heavier by bemoaning them?”

Seneca

We may not always have control of the events that affect us but we do have control over our emotions, recations and ourselves. That is what inspired me to incoorporate stoicism into my life.

I want to learn how to be calm and not blame the world. I want to know how to deal with life at its worst, be understanding and not let if affect me in any bad way, shape or form.

I wish to be calm, positive, think of the best in everything, learn how to not let things get to me easily.

I want to pratice the art of stoicism in my daily life. I want to maitain an inner balance and peace within me.

 

How to practice stoicism

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Some ways that I have found to be of interest and use that could help incorporate stoicism into my life and also yours.

  1. Early morning reflectionFirstly, be thankful that you have actually woken up, many people will not have this privilege today.

    Secondly, plan how you will embrace your virtues and avoid your vices. Pick a particular philosophical precept or a personal strength you want to cultivate and think about how you can incorporate it into the day ahead. Mentally check how you will deal with any difficult situations that know may well arise.

    Thirdly, remind yourself that the only things you can control are your thoughts and your actions. Everything else is uncontrollable.

  2. Meditate and make your mind at ease. Self retreat
  3. Regular self-imposed discomfort. It is, again, both a reminder of what we have and may take for granted. Negative visualization is a simple exercise that can remind us how lucky we are.
  4. You can use a philosophical journal as a tool to discover your own shortcomings and to track the way you change over time. By constant reflection we can improve our current and future life.
  5. The thinking behind this exercise is that every situation has many layers, just like an onion. Each layer represents something that we bring to the situation and not the situation itself. It’s only by considering the core issues without the relatively unimportant layers we add that we can act according to a proper ethical framework. Stop considering your reputation or whatever personal advantage you think you may gain as part of the equation when working out what to do in a given situation. Ask yourself the following questions:
    • What value does this situation bring to everyone? You might be surprised at how many times the answer is “none”.
    • What type of qualities does this situation require? If you have these qualities then great, if not then just think of this situation as a good chance to develop them.
    • Learn from your mistakes is the ideal lesson
  6. Bed-time reflection. Think about your day what has happened. Mentally replay your entire day and then ask yourself the following questions:
    • Did I behave according to my principles?
    • Did I treat the people with whom I interacted with in a friendly and considerate manner?
    • What vices have I fought?
    • Have I made myself a better person by cultivating my virtues?

 

For more info, do check out the below sources!! They do help and provide a lot more in detail

Sources

https://dailystoic.com/10-insanely-useful-stoic-exercises/

https://howtobeastoic.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/how-i-practice-stoicism-the-nuts-and-bolts/

 

Today’s quote to end the day

Objective judgment, now at this very moment.
Unselfish action, now at this very moment.
Willing acceptance–now at this very moment–of all external events.
That’s all you need. 

– Marcus Aurelius

 

giphy-4

 

A bad week

Based on a true story. This piece is inspired by recent events. The events below might not be of any big issue for everyone out there, but we all have problems and for me, this is pretty big. It all depends on one’s persepctive and the mind.

Starting from 5th August 2018, this week has been a very bad one. A week to remember. A week that now belongs to my history of bad times. A week filled with mishaps, sadness, tears, agonizing pain and loss.

Sunday morning, the 5th started with a fuss over a movie and somehow ultimately lead to me spraining my neck and being in dire agonizing pain. The day I became upset and how some things were more valuable than others.

The next day, a hangout and sleepover with my dear friend who I meet once in a blue moon, the day started out really well, ended on an extremely bad note with me losing my phone, the phone that has captured my whole life and work. A phone that wasn’t more than a year old. A phone that was very dear to me.

The guilt and sadness consumed me, times were tough and this week has not been easy in any manner.

The only good thing that happened was watching my favorite actor who I love and adore so much make his Bollywood Debut in a movie called Karwaan. For those 2 hours, he made me forget all my worries and I was the happiest person alive. Made me smile and forget my worries. Dulquer Salmaan.

Then I was snapped back into reality again, but I felt better than before. Even the tiniest ray of a good moment is enough to make your day be a bit better.

What was the point of this week? What was it trying to establish here? What good did all the bad things do? What lesson have I learned? I wonder why it all happened and I get upset all over again.

From my perspective, and based on my outlook and that of my parent’s, sometimes bad things need to happen, not because of the good things that are going to come, sometimes it needs to happen for you to learn something.

Sometimes, you need the bad things in your life to be aware of how life is not all ideal just because you have been having a good time recently.

Sometimes you need that big blow/thud to get hold of you and teach you something, or maybe you needed it.

Before the major mishap happened with my phone, my mom read my horoscope which stated that I had to be very careful this week as this week would be “quite the bad week” and boy oh boy, it has proved that.

I always have been a believer in horoscopes. Today, I read that I could be overly concerned with what’s wrong and I shouldn’t let mistakes or errors like these to take too much of my time. As always, it surprised me and I was shooketh.

What have I learned?

So that’s what I am trying to do, trying to not let my mind get consumed by whatever has happened. It’s hard to not let it go. It’s hard for my mind to help but not wander at the same corner of destruction and replay and live through everything that went wrong. My parents consoled and told me it was okay and mistakes happen. After all, we are just humans, God’s creation, in this big world.

It’s hard to follow that advice until it has not happened with you, but as I said or so the world has said, that is life.

Things happen, we have to move on. If we ponder on what’s wrong with everything in our life, we might only have time for that and not for things or goals that matter to us. Time is a tricky rascal and a weird friend. Sometimes, all you need is time and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes you have praises for it and at times, you throw around curses at it. That’s the same thing as life.

I still can’t help but wonder why.

Thus, this was a mistake and I am trying to move on. Things look promising and sometimes not. Go with the flow, be careful and learn from it. Try not to ponder and get upset over it. It’s hard but you have to try. There are good and bad things out there. So, learn and embrace it. It does shape who you are and your mind.

Move on. This ain’t that bad because there are things much worse yet to come. Things much worse have happened and you have come through it. So, let time take care of this and you take care of your mind.

Bye for now.