In my head

I have these pictures and depictions in my head on how different sceanrios could take place.

Some of them are confrontations.

Part 1

I am not entirely good at confrontations or voicing out something that really bothers me. For half of the time, I ignore it and for the other half of the time, I devise plans on how I could get rid of them or do a mental confronation in my mind.

Not only confrontations, but also pointing out things that people do wrong to me and to people who do it.

Mostly I have been quiet in some of the situations and in others, I do speak out what I feel and think when I feel that I cannot bear it or when I come to a breaking point, or when it affects others.

With some people, it’s not worth it and it is pointless

With some people, it’s hard

With some people, I just go with it

I tend to think about what the others would feel when I would speak out my mind against them. At times, I simply can’t muster up the courage to do so. I am scared and afraid.

So what I do instead is I imagine how it would all go down in my head. In my head, I realese the fury and the rage that I contain. I go to the extreme. That’s what happens when you keep it all in.

This thing that I am doing, I know it’s not healthy and I should speak up. But I feel that for most of the times, my argument and the situation that I am in is simply pointless and not worth a confrontation. It’s petty and silly. In no way, shape or manner, does my self get destroyed but yes, I do obsessively think about it but also I feel that it’s not worth the fight and the argument.

I really need less of that because my whole life has been filled with impending doom and sadness of the past.

But for the ones that I know and feel would take a serious toll on me, I confront it. This would cause certain friendships to break, families to fight or cause a rift. But at the end, removing the toxic effects are worth it.

I not only have confrontations with the world but also with myself. I confront every aspect, every mistake, every thought, feeling and action. I obsess too much on those thoughts at the night and it keeps me awake for a long time. So, I put myself to sleep by either loosening myself into a world of fantasy that goes on in my head or I slowly succumb to the countless damaging thoughts.

 But in my head, confrontations do have it’s appealing yet damaging aspect.

This world of mine is a beautiful treasure kept in hiding.

Enrooted in me. 

Part 2

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In my head, is a place that I can control every factor, starting with the environment, the person and how I can let it move on. That is one of the most splended and beautiful part about our minds and our imagination. We are the sole owners of something so powerful and delicate. That creative process is the most wonderful aspect and immersing into it is a whole other level of high and addiction. Inside my head is a favourite place to be.

One sets out to create a puzzle, falls deeper into the complexity and into the endless void. It really is a wonderful feeling with break taking moments.

I wish I could be trapped in that space forever. Locking myself in my own stories. Living through the creations and of my mind. Locking my memory of ever creating this world, so that I have no recollection of what’s going to happen, but my world knows. I might make choices that would alter the creation of my story, but for a fact, I know that I will enjoy it and know what to do. I want it the easy and the hard way. I want my choices to be given it to me the easy way but I also want that challenge and pain. It’s a habit that I learnt from my life here in the real world, a habit that reality taught me. I  have thought through it all, but I feel that it still lacks a flare, a flare that I can’t pin point to.

I have designed my world accordingly to every desire, dream, challenge, pain, hurdle and also some deaths balanced with the proper mixage of my dark thoughts. I have created multiple worlds, story lines, choices and characters that fit and suit my story. I can jump from one story to an other. My worlds consisit of the ones that I read in books, watch everywhere, listen to and want to experience.

My hidden desires and wishes have always been in me and I have always had the chance to go and do something about it in my world.

It is a world that is so beautiful and extraordinary. A world where all dreams come true. A world to escape into. A world that will always be in the works of making and accomdoating to myself and the changes. A world that would forever change the way on how one lives their life.

 

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It’s a hopeful world, too beautiful and perfect to ever become a reality.

“It would forever become a world that will only cease to exisit in my mind.”

 

 

It was probably meant to be that way since the beginning.

If not, this world would not have existed and I wouldn’t have had the chance to enjoy every minute of my creation.

 

 

 

A week of philosophies

This is a new thing that I am trying and focussing on.

Few philosophies that I like, can resonate with, that can express my feelings or concepts that simply I needed to hear and be inspired by.

A week of philosophies. 7 different ways to look and learn about different aspects and philosophies of life. 

7 days to learn new different 7 philosophies and incorporate these learnings into my life.

 

Day One, 11th September 2018

Today’s philosophy: Yin and Yang

All things carry yin and embrace yang. They reach harmony by blending with the vital breath.

– Laozi

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Why was I inspired to choose this today?

I was talking with my friend today about darkness, light and all, and he suddenly asked you must be more of a yin-yang person right?

I didn’t know what he meant by it, so I went to the most knowledgeable person in times of need, Google. I searched for what it, and I couldn’t be more wowed. I finally found a philosophy that explains my thought process towards the world, and it’s situations.

I always thought of any situation, there are two sides/forces to it. I never shared it much with people because they would call me a hypocrite or a person who can’t make up their mind. I know yin yang isn’t precisely that, but somewhat I found that I could relate myself to it.

There are two sides to everything, right/ wrong, light/dark and more. How each one is complementary to another. Everything in nature is a balance of opposite forces.

What is yin and yang?

Yin and Yang are one vital force – the primordial aura.     

-Wang Yangming

In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang describe how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.  Yin Yang is the concept of duality forming a whole.

The two opposites of Yin and Yang attract and complement each other and, as their symbol illustrates, each side has at its core an element of the other (represented by the small dots).

Neither pole is superior to the other and, as an increase in one brings a corresponding decrease in the other, a correct balance between the two poles must be reached to achieve harmony.

The small dots within each of the two energies (represented by black and white) symbolise that there is always some Yin (black) within Yang (white) and vice versa.

 

Below is a video I have found useful. It’s a simple explanation.

 

Origin

The concept of Yin and Yang became popular with the work of the Chinese school of Yin yang which studied philosophy and cosmology in the 3rd century BCE.

The principal proponent of the theory was the cosmologist Zou Yan (or Tsou Yen) who believed that life went through five phases (wuxing) – fire, water, metal, wood, earth – which continuously interchanged according to the principle of Yin and Yang.

 

How I find it useful

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It’s always wise and good to know about different philosophies. This has inspired me to believe in the world, how different parts and forces of my life are necessary and they compliment each other in some way or another.

There is always some part of myself in another energy and that energy in mine as well. It helps to know both sides of our souls as well. Figuring out and knowing our traits and qualities help us to understand and know our soul, both sides to it. It helps us move and figure it all out.

“Accept your dark side, understanding it will help you to move with the light. Knowing both sides of our souls, helps us all to move forward in life and to understand that, perfection doesn’t exist.”

― Martin R. Lemieux

It’s about creating harmony in myself and the world I live in.

We should focus on harmony because we simply need it. Sometimes everything in life is a chaos, and I think we should try to find a balance in ourselves to think carefully and find out where we have gone wrong.

Harmony and balance are keys to figuring out yourself. It’s a beautiful note that could contribute to the most wonderful of music.

 

How to incorporate Yin Yang energy

I am no expert but here are some ways after research that I have found helpful. We all have our own ways, so we should see what suits us best and try to follow it.

I am keen, and I am trying to incorporate a part of Yin Yang energy into my life and some of the ways I and if you want to do it are as follows:

  • Meditation: Take some time to relax and unwind. It’s also the best way to take a break from your phone. We all need some peace and alone time to ourselves, to reflect and think. With some calm music, I close my eyes, think and feel good.
  • Declutter your life.
  • Maintain good health, in all ways as possible. Mentally and physically. It’s going to be a lot of work, but it’s always worth it. Hard work never goes into vain.
  • Fight for yourself. Don’t wait for the world to hand out what you wish. You need to work hard for your goals, dreams and aspirations.

 

A quote to end the day with

The yin & the yang are opposite forces. Yet, they exist together in the harmony of a perfect orb.

– R.A. Wise