Changes

This phrase, everything happens for the best and Change is good. I do not know what to make of it.

What is the protocol here? What is expected of me?

Changes simply kept happening everywhere and I slowly felt myself loosing my grasp on the world I lived in.

 

Incident that took place at August 2018

There was this small yogurt place down in box park, Jumeirah. The last time I had been there was with my family and grandparents. It was a beautiful time indeed.

I wished to go back there again because of box park and that small place amidst the fancy shops, big ship containers designs beautifully and when the night sets in,  beautiful lights surround and create the most magical and beautiful vibe.

My cousins had come to Dubai and we took them around La Mer and box park. It was Dubai’s highlight. Everything about this place had a certain aura and magic to it. Growing up around these streets and witnessing the changes around was one of a kind experience.

So coming back to the yogurt place, to mark the end of my day with my cousins, I wished to go there and have a frozen yogurt, It was always a tradition, whenever we would go there, we would always have that frozen yogurt. Big enough for a family because we weren’t that much of a sweet tooth when it came to things like these but for other desserts, yes.

So, in the hopes and excitement of getting a yogurt, I was filled with emotions and when we reached there, we were unable to find it. I still did not lose hope but it all came crashing down when the security guard over there told us that that place closed down months ago.

At that very moment, my heart dropped into the deepest pit of my body, then it broke into small pieces and was scattered all over into the depths of that pit. It felt as if going into a black void and with no way out to see the surface ever again.

That change, why was that change for the best or for the good? That change was bad. Businesses shutting down, people losing jobs, this country was becoming so costly to live in. The old Dubai essence whizzed away. This was not the Dubai I once grew up in. Certain parts of it still remain the same, but still. Why did that change happen? What good was it?

 

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My home, changed so much and I love it to the best. Leaving it is always was the hard part. When I had to leave my home for uni, that change. It was nice at first but then it took for a worse turn when I got homesick and cried every day. How was that change good or for the best? Probably it was for the best because I was getting a good education and making my life ready.

But what good were the changes at my home? They weren’t great, no one was happy.

 

“People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they’re really saying is that something you didn’t want to happen at all… has happened.”

-A quote from the movie you’ve got mail. 

A quote so true.

 

Right now

Change is the only thing that seems to be one of the constants in my life right now. Starting with family, the most fundamental root, I wish I could say everything is for the best and continue to keep the positive facade, but some times it’s not and it worries me sick about the present and the future.

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I worry about changes a lot. I look forward to the good changes in life, don’t we all?

I still can’t place my feelings on how I feel about change. For the worst or for the best? Is change life’s way of spicing up our’s and it’s lives. Is change a living entitiy that is in all our lives and can only thrive like this in every movement of time?

I also find myself changing a bit, it might be a silly or an insigficant change, but it does matter to me. When it comes to us, every single detail matters. It’s like a spider web, you mess with one string, the whole foundation just falls apart.

I had this habit, whenever I missed my mother, I used to play old malaylam songs because it reminded me of her and when she used to sign and hum to the tunes. It was embedded in me since I was a child. And intially when I came to uni, crying my heart out to it was what I did. I always knew what I was getting myself into when the songs came, long hours of crying and pain.

But now, as I play these songs, I do feel myself drown in the sorrow and pain of my mom not being there with me. The pain of being miles apart resurfaces but I once have not cried to it ever since I got back from my vacations. All of you might find this as a small change, but like I said, even the tiniest of change is a huge deal

I also find people changing, for some profounding reason for the good but then there are the basket cases where I have lost hope in.

So far, it has all been good. I am meeting new and amazing people.

As time gets ticking, my future keeps changing as well, every day has it’s own changes. I am anxious but also excited to see what the future has in store for me.

I am happy with some of the changes so far, exciting changes and moments have been happening for one of my best friend and I couldn’t be more happier and proud of her because she has worked so hard and she desreves it. I am happy with some of the changes that have also been happening to me. Through bad times I have learnt in some good lessons and changes.

And just a few minutes back, I have been blessed with the most amazing news for my family. I am not saying anything out loud because I do not want to jinx or anyone to jinx it because there are some people in the world who really would go to all lengths on destroying one’s family and peace of mind.

 

It’s time to end, and here is how I think I am doing

So, I am getting around just fine despite the storm… 

– Roshni Marath Jairaj

 

 

A week of philosophies, Day 5

This is a new thing that I am trying and focussing on.

Few philosophies that I like can resonate with, that can express my feelings or concepts that simply I needed to hear and be inspired by.

A week of philosophies. 7 different ways to look and learn about various aspects and views of life.

7 days to learn new, different 7 philosophies and incorporate these learnings into my life.

 

Day 5, September 15th 2018

Today’s philosophy: Phenomenalism

 

What is Phenomenalism?

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Phenomenalism is the position that the physical world exists only as sensory data in the perception of minds, and not as a substance or a thing in itself. Phenomenalism is a form of idealism.

Weaker phenomenalism states only that the sense perception can be known to exist, and that it is either meaningless or useless to talk of objects outside of perception. Stronger versions deny that anything exists outside of sense perception.

Why I find this fascinating?

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It’s exciting to know that such concepts exist. Why have they been made in the first place?

It’s crazy to think that the physical world is only the perception of our mind. Nothing we sense or see or hear or taste is real. Everything is non-existent? Our brains and minds playing tricks with us to making us believe that there is a physical world out there. Why?

Are we trapped in some sort of dream state? This is some severe inception shady business. Are we in some new bound technology that has forced us to become like this?
Are we drugged and we all are imagining this? Is something wrong with the air that we breathe, is it some sort of toxic drug to make us think like this? Or is this just how our mental state is?

I feel like I do not have a proper grasp of this concept, but my mind is taking me to different theories and places with this one baffling philosophy.

When I am free and left on my own, my mind wanders to such depths it has never done before. It crawls through a portal and awakes a creature or some sort of sense that helps me in creating these concepts and theories of life.

When I heard about the philosophy Phenomenalism, my mind simply couldn’t just grasp the concept.

I knew many different people thought of many different things, but to come up with a philosophy like this, it was indeed amazing. It made me wonder what else do humans think about. I wish there were some sort of way that we could seek a way into their minds and unravel what more they believe.

So when we touch, the thing that we feel is not real? So what our sensory receptors feeling then? Are our minds simply creating these illusions and feelings? Well if it is, then our minds are definitely more stronger, creative, different and way more out of our hands.

The end

This one is different from the others. I just had to lay down all my thoughts on interesting concepts like these. I want people to know and understand there lies a world infront of us with so many unique and intriuging concepts.

It’s a one of a kind feeling to uncover and discover things like these and I wanted to share it with you and the world.

I hope you too enjoy it as much as I did and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts about all of it and more.

Goodbye for now. Until tomorrow, with a new concept

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