Thank You

Rather than fixating on things that are wrong with this world, with me or around me, I wanted to remember the things that make me thankful for the life I have. 

I wanted to remind myself there are many things to thank for, but I don’t do it enough. 

My Thank You To Everyone

Thank you to my family for pushing me to my dreams, for being the essential backbone to my life, for loving me, for doing so much more than I ask for!

Thank you to my mom and dad for every single thing you have done for me. Thank you for your sacrifices! Thank you for everything! Thank you for bringing me to this Earth so that I can live this good life!

Thank you grandmom and grandad for being the best, for helping my mom, dad and I so much! Thank you for your wonderful smiles and help! I miss you all very much!

Thank you to my Vellima, Resmy Swaminathan for being the pillar of strentgh to everybody! God bless your soul and I always know you are there for me and my family because the stars have never shined brighter! You will always live in all our hearts.

Thank you to my friends and my best friends for being there and for allowing me to be the real me. Thank you for sticking through, thank you for the memories, thank you for the fun times, thank you for the emotional everything! Thank you millions!

Thank you to the frenemies for doing what you did. I do not regard this in a bad sense, but I thank you because I have learnt more about myself through these experiences and if not for you, I perhaps would have stuck to my crooked ways and not realized why I hurt you. Thank you for teaching me about the different people in this world.

Thank you to those specific teachers who saw me for who I am, who supported me, who favoured me, who loved me, who taught me the best, and for being one of the reasons to the best school life I ever had.

Thank you to my school and my friends for making half of my school experience as fantastic as possible! Thank you for fun overnight camps, thank you for a visit to the parks where we could have fun, thank you for the morning assemblies, thank you for everything!

Thank you to my home for giving me the sanity to go through life. Thank you to the specific corners of my house where I can slip through to escape some of the wraths.

Thank you, Dubai and the streets for giving me my peace and calm.

Thank you, Kerala for your authenticity, language, emotions, songs, monsoon rains and greenery!

Thank you, Singapore, for helping me adjust to you and for trapping me in a lovely trance for you!

Thank you night drives for helping me build a support system to rely back to. Thank you for creating a path of nostalgia to keep me going!

Thank you Beaches, The Seas and The Oceans for giving me the depth and passion I need. Thank you skies for making my days a fantasy! Thank you rains and moody skies for motivating me in a weird way and for helping me remember my home.

Thank you to all the songs I listen to, thank you for being there and not going away. Thank you for being the support I needed. Thank you for your words. When no one else seems to understand, you are there.

Thank you movies and shows for helping me build a world where I can escape to! Thank you for enlightening me in all ways as possible!

Thank you writers, poets, novels and books for exisiting! Thank you for everything magical you have provided me with!

Thank you to life for helping me grab opportunities that help me advance towards progress!

Thank you to my mind for helping me think about the logics of the situation. Thank you to my mind for helping me realize many of the things my heart fails to capture.

Thank you to my heart for making me human. Thank you to my heart and soul for supplying me with emotions that elevate me to new and the unknown.

Thank you to my body for keeping me alive and for giving me the ability to do a lot!

Thank you, nature for your existence and for helping us live! Thank you for the beautiful and breathtaking sights you offer! Thank you for being there for us! I am in awe of your strength, and I will try my best to help you in whatever ways possible so all of us can keep you safe and healthy!

I Thank You God for helping me, my family, my friends and the world in whatever ways possible! Thank you to the universe and the Gods for being a hand in making my dreams come true!

I apologoize if I might have missed not thanking any of you for your help but I am in debt and thankful for your existence and everything you have done for me!

Thank you to the old times. Thank you for the present and I look forward to Thank You, The imminent future!

Sometimes my faith shatters and it’s your fault partially

You know what Universe and the Lords

I am disappointed in you guys, why do you have to go out of your way to create disruption and chaos in my life and to those I care about

I am angry at you, I am frustrated because I have no other explanation

I have no one else to blame but you, solely you, just you

You might think as to why I keep writing about my miseries and sorrows again and again.

You might also think all my miseries and sorrows are the same monotnous old regime but guess what, maybe you could ask the lords above to intervine and request them to bring some aspects of change into my life so that I can write about something new

When good times arise, why is it that you have to stick your foot down at that very moment and create a judgment for you to pass upon my life?

I am angry with you but you know my temper would subside down

I just need to vent out and have an open conversation with you.

I might and will blame you but know that, I never mean these things very seriosuly, I understand why you have to do these things, actually I don’t. I think it’s unfair but like the world says the world is unfair.

I will always continue to put my faith and belief in you but that doesn’t mean once in a while I won’t get angry with you when the waves go rough

I pray to you to get matters sorted out, I pray to you for finding solutions, I pray to you to help me and aid me.

Sometimes I hope you can make it easy for myself and the world, I really do. If you are out there, don’t let this world and the good people descend to choas. There is still hope.

Sometimes people say it all happens for the best or it happens for a reason, but when the absolute worst happens, how can anyone mean that? How is there sense to it? Why does it have to happen when no good reason comes out of it?

Why can’t people just say what’s happened has happened or say nothing at all rather than say it must have happened for a reason or some lame universe philosophy. That does not make things better.

I take action for my responsibility and will not blame you for whatever comes from it, maybe I will vent out but will try to understand whatever happened happened and there is nothing I can do about it. I will live through it like always, sometimes it takes longer than usual, but I will pass through it.

Universe, Gods and the Lords, I will always put my unwavering faith in you because you help me and I find calm and solace with you.

My Belief System

I can believe things that are true and things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not.

Neil Gaiman, American Gods

 

Without doubt or any hesitation, I put my faith and belief into certain things that give me peace and make me sane. A huge part of where I come from and my belief system is from my mom, my life and my culture and I am glad she, my life and my culture had a helping hand with it.

I believe in God, religion, astrology, philosophies; many of the ones that Science cannot explain…

I put my belief into them because they give me a sense of reassurance and comfort when nothing else seems to work. I put my belief into them because in dire needs of hope and desperation, I can call out to them and I know they listen. I put my belief in them because I believe and trust that they are with me through thick and thin.

 

My faith and belief make me strong and I know there are people out there who have their own belief system and values, some of them necessarily may not agree with my belief system and I am not forcing you to see things in my way, I respect what you agree, choose and follow; After all, who am I to judge what you believe in… Whatever makes you strong, I am happy and content with it.

I like to respect and see their choices as well without frowning or looking down upon them because I know how it feels and I have seen it, I can tell you I am not a fan of it. So I do my very best to be open to everyone’s choices and wishes and I learn from them and respect them, but there are certain circumstances in which I simply cannot stand by them because some of their beliefs are just plain wrong and I feel they cause the world harm.

 

Coming back to my beliefs, I was inspired to write this because I just finished watching a video on Youtube about tarot card predictions and I do put some of my belief into it. There is a sort of thrill in choosing what card may or may not predict your future and I like to see the outcome.

The video down below is what tempted me to write this post.

 

Watching the video and after choosing my card, I was surprised by how bafflingly accurate some of those predictions were, I knew some of them were going to happen and I guess I needed some sort of assurance for myself to tell me to go through with it. That’s how horoscopes help me as well, they put me to ease and knowing a bit about my future even if it’s a 50-50 chance with them, I still take it because it’s calming to know about what awaits you.

I do not justify my behaviour and my actions by saying that’s what my horoscope says. I do believe in it and sometimes I do find it surprising that things happen the way it does, it’s all about the element of surprise and caution I take from it. It teaches me in a way. It’s like a small guide that is a bit helpful to go on about life. When I feel doubtful about certain things, reading it gives me a push to go and do it. It’s a motivation and a reminder in that way.

 

A few days back, I got my results after my exams and coursework, it was not what I expected, the insane amount of hard work you put in and when the result you get doesn’t match, it’s devastating. You question everything that you have done, you question everything that you have taken, you feel the absolute worst at that moment.

So I talked to my mom and dad that helped me calm down and then I prayed to God and had a conversation with God where I put out all my thoughts; it was more like talking to myself and finding something in it. I questioned God why and I believe something and everything happens for a reason; maybe this was to teach me something, but what? Like the many questions, I dedicated my full day to it as to figuring out why and what I can do.

So after all that hurt and tears, I felt a bit relaxed and relieved. This motivated me to work harder and give it my best as I always have.

 

When I believe in my faith and religion, it gives me peace and keeps me sane. It pushes me to go forward and there is something so comforting and reassuring in knowing there is someone out there who is watching you and protecting you. Sometimes the bad and inevitable might happen, which makes me question the entirety of what I believe in and I do not have any answers to give out, but I still do believe and put my faith into God and my religion.