I had written this down when I had to say goodbye to my best friend Raveena after my holidays ended. This happened around 2017. This was the last time we met each other before I left for UK and it hurts every single time when I leave her because she is such a special person in my life that I never want to let go…
She tried to not let it get to her, she tried to not let it tear her apart
One more cut on that fine piece of heart, and she would be done…
The other one reassured it would all be fine but deep down, she knew the course of time and events would always be different.
There would always be that pain lingering around in the air smirking on us and feeding on us wherever we would wind up. That pain was one of the common links between us…
It was never the end but just a semi colon in the journey that now took a turn to a different road, a road that was going to lead her into a different abyss
She couldn’t help but not let her go, but she had to
She couldn’t help but watch her leave and wish for a few more minutes with her
She was one of those treasures she always needed to have by her side.
She tuned it all out and did what she thought she was best at, she made a choice to throw herself into the world of words, a world she had a hold on and understood. It was deep, so deep but she knew what it meant or so she thought
As she saw her through slip away from her through those doors, she couldn’t help but think, “ Why?”
She turned back to her desperate addiction, her words and then flowed out every raw thing she felt and here is how it went…
“ In that one last time, it was just us amongst the billions who stood
It was just us and what we felt
I try to capture every bit of her in my mind before she leaves our small world
Words were spoken and it hurt thinking this would be the last of it all
As I said the last word, I heard her voice amongst the crowd reassuring me
But I could hear the voice break
In that break held the pain and the sadness we felt
I was a glass and so was she
Then there was the hammer
That flung upon us and shattered us into millions of tiny pieces
Scattered everywhere in ourselves
It was all there in me, but I never knew how to fix it all back
Right now, I stand here staring at the people in front of me and I do not know what to think or do, So I slip off into the cracks of the world I have built for myself.
A protective shield engulfs me, and once in that field, one could see the specks of every feeling I had floating around. It all hurt
But I am glad I held on to you and never let go
You would always be my forever in a world of momentary…
It hurts to be human, doesn’t it?