Thoughts in the sky

In the admits of the clouds flying and soaring high amongst different shades of colours. I see all possibilities of a happy time but none can comfort me at this moment.

Right now I am in a moment of nervousness and sadness. Even if it was coming to Dubai for 4 days for an urgent matter, it felt out of place.

I should be happy going back to home for at least a small time shouldn’t I, but then why am I not?

 

The night before the journey

I was afraid to sleep, so I drank a cup of coffee and I usually never drink coffee because I have always found a bitterness to it but now that was what I needed to stay awake throughout the night.

I spent the night watching 3 of my favorite movies and eating snacks.

I took a puff to calm myself down, and it helped for a bit but then I fell back to the same old system again

It took me some time to adjust myself to the routine I made for myself. I was interested to go for my classes this year because I got to choose the modules I wished and wanted.

I was interested because I got into a good volunteering program and it upsets me to know that I won’t be there for the first meeting of the project.

I did not want to leave the life and my friends just for four days that would disrupt my whole life pattern.

I was trying to be happy, going back to my mom, that’s one bonus I am acquiring and her home made food, but I still am not calm about it. I also had the chance to meet two of my best friends after a long time and I got to admit, this was the best highlight.

And I know once I reach, I will find it hard to come back to Uni because that’s just me.

Once I land Dubai, I know it’s going to take everything in me not to fall apart and wish to stay there for as long as possible. I would wish and pray for those 4 days not to end and on the day of departure, I would be a wreck and I need to start adjusting myself again.

This is the process that I hate and absolutely despise.

But I find myself ready to come back to Uni, I am preparing myself.

Not to cry, not to fall apart. That’s the power of home, once you even take a step into it, you are gravitated right into the center and it would take all your wits and mights to break free from the force.

 

 The moment the plane landed in Dubai 

I knew the timer started to set for my return to UK and that’s the hardest part but now I am calm with it

Listening to some good songs helped me out and whilst I am here I am going to try and not focus on that

Uni ain’t that bad and I am finding it really lit and happy this year,  and I can finally call it home because of the place and the people who made it special but, there will always be that but.

 

The day to leave

A few hours left to go.

I am feeling alright, not great but exisiting and being alright.

I am excited to get back to the routine that I have made for myself. I am eager to study, be with my friends, make notes, be in my room and have my alone time.

At the moment, an overwhelming surge of sadness and heart break has taken over me. Leaving my mom and Dubai never became easier.

But this is all for the best.

 

What we go through now, it’s all helping us prepare for a greater change and life. All these emotions, feelings and changes are my lessons. I am trying real hard to be the type of student who learns from it and use it at some point in life. Or just learn and deal with it for the fun of doing it.

– Roshni Marath Jairaj

 

 

The continuation of a new chapter

30th September 2018

The feelings of a teenage adult kid who began her year 2 at uni…

Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning to the continuation in my journey. A journey that began long ago but is going by in a flash. A journey that I thought would go slow but took upon the pace and moved so fast that I forgot how I lived through that one year.

It felt like a long time ago.

Tomorrow starts a brand new year, my second year towards my degree. The year where ” my marks” begin to count. The one good final year before the next year.

Forget about the new year, new me, new resolutions. This is the time to start acting upon it. Why wait for a few months, for that new year. Just start doing it. That’s what I am doing because life doesn’t wait that long for you to act upon it. So we better start owning up as soon as we can because it’s for the better and in the long run, it’s worth it.

I don’t know what to feel for this new year, I am overwhelmed, anxious and excited. I am starting to focus on doing more things for myself and also for the future because sometimes it’s too late to realise that all the time you could have done doing something, you did nothing and sometimes well it’s never too late to start something new.

I am somewhere in between that state of mind, though I am trying as hard as I can to lean towards the first situation, doing things at the right time and not wasting as much time I did before.

Things are starting to get real. I always knew that, but in the first year, it was a trial and error year for me. I tried, I learnt, and well that was it. Now things are getting very real and a bit serious. Not a bit, very serious. I need to start giving that extra dose of reality to myself.

I have always admired and always liked to inhabit some characteristics of Riley. She was happy, positive and thought of the world as a good place and also the people in it.  She refused to see the bad, I believe. She didn’t exactly ignore it, but well she was different in the way she thought, and I found that to be a bit not me and realistic. She also had her upsetting and dark moments, don’t we all?

I wanted to be like that but then what good would do that to me? Why build that shield that would let you refuse the bad in the world? What good would it really do? We need to know and learn that bad exists in this world. How else would we prepare for that? How else can we survive in this world? Why hide that part of reality and life? We need to understand and learn that there are bad and good people. We can’t expect the people to play the role and character that we envisioned in our mind for them.

I believe in horoscopes and astrology a lot. At the time of my birth, an astrologer had written some predictions, visions based on my stars and time I was born. So far everything had come true in that. Good and bad. It says that in my future, I would be successful in my field of profession and passion, and I do hope that comes true. But I know it won’t happen in a stroke of luck, it takes time and hard work to make that happen.

We can’t expect the world to hand us what we want. We need to work hard for it. There are chances and possibilites out there for us to grab and hold on to, we need to sure we make use of it and not let it float by like an aimless balloon in the deep blue wide sky. There is no easy way out. I have a goal and a vision in my mind, and I want to see it happen. My fate may be destined, but how would it work without me taking any action?

That’s what I am doing now in my year 2. Doing as much as possible for my vision and goal.

I have seen my past, and it’s struggles. It taught me a lot, and I learned. I am not saying that my future won’t have its struggles. It will, but I won’t make the same mistake as what the people in my past did.

I won’t stress myself too much over it. I have the right amount of stress to help me because stress always helps me do better and to work hard. I have my own equation to doing life, and I am not a fan of anyone messing it up. When change is necessary and essential to that equation, I will do it. I wouldn’t want to force things to happen, but sometimes I do, and that’s when I learn more on life and discover what I like and don’t like.

Many things are changing. In a matter of time, I will be done with university, and it won’t be long before I am an adult with my own life and responsibilities.

I want to thank you life and everyone in it, I have learnt a lot, especially from that of mistakes of myself, family and friends. I am learning how to do with it all.

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The past, present and the ability to create the future are all in us. In ourselves contain the ability to change, crave and make that path. 

So that’s what I am doing now. Reading, Studying, Learning, Changing and Trying. 

A week of philosophies, The conclusion.

Day 7

17th September 2018

 

So here lies the end…

An end to all the learnings.

It was a very enlightening experience indeed.

I have learnt some different philosophies of lives and I am happy to say that I have incorporated a bit of each into my life. I am learning and trying, after all I am just a human.

It also feels a bit ovewhelming and tiring reminding myself of these philosophies at each and every moment when things go bad. It gets hard.

So I try to take 5 deep breaths. In that 5 deep breaths, I think and evaluvate, I let myself be calm and not overreact. I try to think before I do or say anything. I think about what I have learnt in this week. It helps me.

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Trust me, I have quite the bit of the temper and a difficult mentality and reaction to changes and I know giving out advice is easy but following them is very hard. But I have to try. I can be equally optimistic and pessimistic. It’s like a balance but I try really hard not to let the bad affect me because it would not destroy me but also destory the ones that I love. We can’t be a saint and a positive goodie tosho at all times, but if it’s possible we can try.  Trying is one step close to suceeding.

The world and the life that I live can have some bad days but they won’t last forever, probably some of it’s effects might, but that’s the thing about life. One can never truly be a 100% happy, but we can try.

I look forward to life teaching me more and I look forward for all the lessons that lie ahead.

This is my last post whilst I am in Dubai.So this week of learnings has prepared me for that ride and journey. Until next time, my beautiful home, family and friends. It’s a tough ride, even though I am completely not up for it, I still do have to go.

It’s all going to be worth it, some day. I can’t wait for that some day to happen, while it may take some time, I am going to try and make the best of the life that I am having right now.

 

Quote to end the day

Some things are worth it in the long run and this ride is. 

-Roshni Marath Jairaj

 

A week of philosophies, Day 4

This is a new thing that I am trying and focussing on.

Few philosophies that I like can resonate with, that can express my feelings or concepts that simply I needed to hear and be inspired by.

A week of philosophies. 7 different ways to look and learn about various aspects and views of life.

7 days to learn new, different 7 philosophies and incorporate these learnings into my life.

 

Day 4, September 14th 2018

Today’s philosophy: Existentialism

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What is Existentialism?

Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.

Jean-Paul Sartre

Existentialism in the broader sense is a 20th century philosophy that is centered upon the analysis of existence and of the way humans find themselves existing in the world. The notion is that humans exist first and then each individual spends a lifetime changing their essence or nature.

In simpler terms, existentialism is a philosophy concerned with finding self and the meaning of life through free will, choice, and personal responsibility. The belief is that people are searching to find out who and what they are throughout life as they make choices based on their experiences, beliefs, and outlook. And personal choices become unique without the necessity of an objective form of truth.

An existentialist believes that a person should be forced to choose and be responsible without the help of laws, ethnic rules, or traditions.

Why was I inspired to take this philosophy today?

“Life has no meaning a priori… It is up to you to give it a meaning, and value is nothing but the meaning that you choose.”

Jean-Paul Sartre

The idea is very intirguing indeed, and I know this is what all of us, the world follows. We all are own unique individuals with different beliefs. This has always inspired me to always stay real and true to myself and the world.

We can decide who we are, we don’t need the world to write down what we need to be and do.

But at very rare times, I do get stuck and question myself and my purpose. Why? This  is called an existential crisis. I might not be facing a full blown existential crisis, but it’s always good to know what I am facing and how I could get over it.

An “Existential Crisis” is when and individual person starts to question their entire existence and questioning if being alive even has a point or if it’s all pointless. So when one finds themselves in that crisis, what do we do to resolve it? How do we get out of it?

How does one get out of an existential crisis?

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Even if I haven’t had a full blown existential crisis, it’s always good to know how to get out of one. So I researched ways and found some of the ways that could help me and you get out of it.

I coudn’t sum it all up just in a few lines, so I would be attaching a few links that will help.

  1. https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-an-Existential-Crisis
  2. https://peopledevelopmentmagazine.com/2016/10/02/existential-crisis/
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/how-be-grown/201401/how-work-through-existential-crisis
  4. http://www.artofwellbeing.com/2018/07/20/funk/

 

Today’s quote to end the day

“There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning and point… The truly adult view, by contrast, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we choose to make it.”
Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

A week of philosophies, Day 3

This is a new thing that I am trying and focussing on.

Few philosophies that I like can resonate with, that can express my feelings or concepts that simply I needed to hear and be inspired by.

A week of philosophies. 7 different ways to look and learn about various aspects and views of life.

7 days to learn new, different 7 philosophies and incorporate these learnings into my life.

Day 3, September 13th 2018

Today’s philosophy: Stocism

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What is Stoicism?

“External thinks are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now.” 

Marcus Aurelius

In simple words, Stoicism sets out to remind us of how unpredictable the world can be.

Stoicism doesn’t concern itself with complicated theories about the world, but with helping us overcome destructive emotions and act on what can be acted upon.

The Stoics focus on two things:

  1. How can we lead a fulfilling, happy life?
  2. How can we become better human beings?

The goal of Stoicism is to attain inner peace by overcoming adversity, practicing self-control, being conscious of our impulses, realizing our ephemeral nature and the short time allotted.

It’s important that we understand the obstacles that we face and not run from them; it’s vital that we learn to transmute them into fuel to feed our fire. But at the very root of the thinking, there is a very simple, though not easy, way of living. Take obstacles in your life and turn them into your advantage, control what you can and accept what you can’t.

To understand more in depth about the concept, I have put down a video that can make you all understand the concept with ease and clarity.

Origin

“Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.”

Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Stoicism originated as a Hellenistic philosophy, founded in Athens by Zeno of Citium (modern day Cyprus), c. 300 B.C.E. … The name comes from the Stoa Poikile, or painted porch, an open market in Athens where the original Stoics used to meet and teach philosophy.

Why was I inspired to choose this?

“How does it help…to make troubles heavier by bemoaning them?”

Seneca

We may not always have control of the events that affect us but we do have control over our emotions, recations and ourselves. That is what inspired me to incoorporate stoicism into my life.

I want to learn how to be calm and not blame the world. I want to know how to deal with life at its worst, be understanding and not let if affect me in any bad way, shape or form.

I wish to be calm, positive, think of the best in everything, learn how to not let things get to me easily.

I want to pratice the art of stoicism in my daily life. I want to maitain an inner balance and peace within me.

 

How to practice stoicism

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Some ways that I have found to be of interest and use that could help incorporate stoicism into my life and also yours.

  1. Early morning reflectionFirstly, be thankful that you have actually woken up, many people will not have this privilege today.

    Secondly, plan how you will embrace your virtues and avoid your vices. Pick a particular philosophical precept or a personal strength you want to cultivate and think about how you can incorporate it into the day ahead. Mentally check how you will deal with any difficult situations that know may well arise.

    Thirdly, remind yourself that the only things you can control are your thoughts and your actions. Everything else is uncontrollable.

  2. Meditate and make your mind at ease. Self retreat
  3. Regular self-imposed discomfort. It is, again, both a reminder of what we have and may take for granted. Negative visualization is a simple exercise that can remind us how lucky we are.
  4. You can use a philosophical journal as a tool to discover your own shortcomings and to track the way you change over time. By constant reflection we can improve our current and future life.
  5. The thinking behind this exercise is that every situation has many layers, just like an onion. Each layer represents something that we bring to the situation and not the situation itself. It’s only by considering the core issues without the relatively unimportant layers we add that we can act according to a proper ethical framework. Stop considering your reputation or whatever personal advantage you think you may gain as part of the equation when working out what to do in a given situation. Ask yourself the following questions:
    • What value does this situation bring to everyone? You might be surprised at how many times the answer is “none”.
    • What type of qualities does this situation require? If you have these qualities then great, if not then just think of this situation as a good chance to develop them.
    • Learn from your mistakes is the ideal lesson
  6. Bed-time reflection. Think about your day what has happened. Mentally replay your entire day and then ask yourself the following questions:
    • Did I behave according to my principles?
    • Did I treat the people with whom I interacted with in a friendly and considerate manner?
    • What vices have I fought?
    • Have I made myself a better person by cultivating my virtues?

 

For more info, do check out the below sources!! They do help and provide a lot more in detail

Sources

https://dailystoic.com/10-insanely-useful-stoic-exercises/

https://howtobeastoic.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/how-i-practice-stoicism-the-nuts-and-bolts/

 

Today’s quote to end the day

Objective judgment, now at this very moment.
Unselfish action, now at this very moment.
Willing acceptance–now at this very moment–of all external events.
That’s all you need. 

– Marcus Aurelius

 

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A week of philosophies, Day 2

A week of philosophies

This is a new thing that I am trying and focussing on.

Few philosophies that I like, can resonate with, that can express my feelings or concepts that simply I needed to hear and be inspired by.

A week of philosophies. 7 different ways to look and learn about different aspects and philosophies of life. 

7 days to learn new different 7 philosophies and incorporate these learnings into my life.

 

Day One, 11th September 2018

Today’s philosophy: Yin and Yang

All things carry yin and embrace yang. They reach harmony by blending with the vital breath.

– Laozi

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Why was I inspired to choose this today?

I was talking with my friend today about darkness, light and all, and he suddenly asked you must be more of a yin-yang person right?

I didn’t know what he meant by it, so I went to the most knowledgeable person in times of need, Google. I searched for what it, and I couldn’t be more wowed. I finally found a philosophy that explains my thought process towards the world, and it’s situations.

I always thought of any situation, there are two sides/forces to it. I never shared it much with people because they would call me a hypocrite or a person who can’t make up their mind. I know yin yang isn’t precisely that, but somewhat I found that I could relate myself to it.

There are two sides to everything, right/ wrong, light/dark and more. How each one is complementary to another. Everything in nature is a balance of opposite forces.

What is yin and yang?

Yin and Yang are one vital force – the primordial aura.     

-Wang Yangming

In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang describe how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.  Yin Yang is the concept of duality forming a whole.

The two opposites of Yin and Yang attract and complement each other and, as their symbol illustrates, each side has at its core an element of the other (represented by the small dots).

Neither pole is superior to the other and, as an increase in one brings a corresponding decrease in the other, a correct balance between the two poles must be reached to achieve harmony.

The small dots within each of the two energies (represented by black and white) symbolise that there is always some Yin (black) within Yang (white) and vice versa.

 

Below is a video I have found useful. It’s a simple explanation.

 

Origin

The concept of Yin and Yang became popular with the work of the Chinese school of Yin yang which studied philosophy and cosmology in the 3rd century BCE.

The principal proponent of the theory was the cosmologist Zou Yan (or Tsou Yen) who believed that life went through five phases (wuxing) – fire, water, metal, wood, earth – which continuously interchanged according to the principle of Yin and Yang.

 

How I find it useful

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It’s always wise and good to know about different philosophies. This has inspired me to believe in the world, how different parts and forces of my life are necessary and they compliment each other in some way or another.

There is always some part of myself in another energy and that energy in mine as well. It helps to know both sides of our souls as well. Figuring out and knowing our traits and qualities help us to understand and know our soul, both sides to it. It helps us move and figure it all out.

“Accept your dark side, understanding it will help you to move with the light. Knowing both sides of our souls, helps us all to move forward in life and to understand that, perfection doesn’t exist.”

― Martin R. Lemieux

It’s about creating harmony in myself and the world I live in.

We should focus on harmony because we simply need it. Sometimes everything in life is a chaos, and I think we should try to find a balance in ourselves to think carefully and find out where we have gone wrong.

Harmony and balance are keys to figuring out yourself. It’s a beautiful note that could contribute to the most wonderful of music.

 

How to incorporate Yin Yang energy

I am no expert but here are some ways after research that I have found helpful. We all have our own ways, so we should see what suits us best and try to follow it.

I am keen, and I am trying to incorporate a part of Yin Yang energy into my life and some of the ways I and if you want to do it are as follows:

  • Meditation: Take some time to relax and unwind. It’s also the best way to take a break from your phone. We all need some peace and alone time to ourselves, to reflect and think. With some calm music, I close my eyes, think and feel good.
  • Declutter your life.
  • Maintain good health, in all ways as possible. Mentally and physically. It’s going to be a lot of work, but it’s always worth it. Hard work never goes into vain.
  • Fight for yourself. Don’t wait for the world to hand out what you wish. You need to work hard for your goals, dreams and aspirations.

 

A quote to end the day with

The yin & the yang are opposite forces. Yet, they exist together in the harmony of a perfect orb.

– R.A. Wise