Some Times, Many Times

Some times, I wish I did not have to account other people’s feelings into consideration before I erupt.

Many times, I unfortunately do so and then regret it the moment later. I am now learning to care more and I understand that now.


Some times, I wish I did not live in a world where life is this unfair.

Many times, I have no other choice but to live in this unfair world.


Some times, I wish I had all the time in the world to do everything I want without the need to worry for money

Many times, I fantasise about doing so but ultimately fantasies lead you no where. So I am doing my best and working hard so that I have the money to do everything I want and hope.


Some times, I wish I did not have to live a life where I only remember sorrows and seeds of hate

Many times, I have now realised this is the life I was given and there is nothing I could do to change it


Some times, I wish I could share more

Many times, I understand why I haven’t


Some times, I wish not to be consumed by the idea of love knowing what I expect will never happen

Many times, I let it happen


Some times, I wish I could leave for the woods and a city like New York

Many times, what I do instead is I listen to music and watch videos that make it possible


Some times, I wish I was more creative and not filled with remorse or self doubt about what I could do

Many times, I believe I am more than what I think and believe but my doubts plague me down

Some times, I loose my sleep and mind thinking if I will ever make it

Many times, I doubt if I would make it and Many times, I have hope that I will make it.


Some times, I wish the world could be a better place in terms of everything

Many times, I wish the world could be a better place in terms of everything and I try doing my bit to make this world a better place for everyone and everything. When it succeeds, I am happy and inspired to do more.


Some times, I wish I had not watched that many movies which have now influenced me to think that my life could perhaps be like that

Many times, I am glad I have watched those movies because that is the only way I could ever live a life like that


Some times, I wish I did not have to feel so much

Many times, I am glad I could feel the way I feel


Many times, I feel my heart shatter at the sight of homeless people and the jobs one needs to do to have a living. I wonder what can I do to help? Then I realize, by growing up and getting a job, I can do my bit for them.


Some times, I wish I could do something about the dark desires I want to do

Many times, I have chosen not to act on it because I do not want to take part in painting the world red contributing to everything bad


Many times I wish I did not feel a burst of sadness and sympathy when I look at old people who remind me of my grandparents

Some times are the only times I take an action to spend time with them.


Many times I wish I were not engrossed in my laptop and on my phone

Sometimes I decide to spend some time in the outside world with my family and that time is actually worth spending.


Some times, I wish I was not given this life. I wish I had been offered a choice for a life I wanted to lead

Many times, I am glad I got this life but the hope still lingers


Some times, I am envious when people think of my life not exciting as other

Many times, I simply do not care and move on


Some times, I wish I had a sibling so that I would never fear being alone when my parents leave me

Many times, I am glad I am the only child in my family because I love that I am the sole receiver of all their love


Many times, I wish I could lie down in a room so high with a view that overlooked the city lights listening to music that make me feel everything

Many times, I find myself wishing to be in a cabin in the woods amongst the forest listening to the rain and writing

Many times, I find myself dreaming of being in an apartment so high where I could see the rays of the sun spread across the whole city.


Many times, I wish I could honour every promise I have made to everyone I ever love

Some times in many, I have honoured those promises


Some times, I wish I had a best friend who was all to myself. A best friendship like Miley and Lilly, Alex and Harper and like the F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Many times, I am so blessed to be in best friendships unique and happy to me.


Many times, I dream about a love so great that the whole world will write stories about someday.

Many times, I understand the probability of it not happening. Many times, I come to terms of my reality and what is offered.


Many times, I wish I was handed a childhood where I did not have to see my parents fight a lot.

Some times, I wish the Armageddon would come and sweep it all away.


Many times, I wish I did not have regrets in life to look back upon

Some times, I realise those regrets were needed for me to learn but I cannot help thinking on how they could have been avoided. I guess that is just my mind. Never satisfied.


Many times, I wish I had not kept so many secrets from my parents. I wish I could have let them know it all but I know I will be judged, possibly even worse.


Many of the times, I dwell in the nostakgaix of my childhood and wish I were trapped in that state forever

Many of the times, I am glad I am growing up to be more independent and free because I can edit my own path and see where it goes. I am happy for the freedom I get and for the chances I can take. I am also happy because of the progress in growing up because I get to be further away from all the fights I have to witness.


Some times, I wish I never left my home

Many times, I am glad I did but then I weep at stages


Many times, I wish people could see me through my eyes and not theirs

Some times, I am glad that is not the case because through different eyes, different and unique perspectives come out and you learn a lot more that way. You know they like you or do not like for who you are from their eyes and not from the monstrous eyes you have. It makes things slightly better in many ways.


Many times, I wish I could be happy with the way I am

Some times, I am very ecstatic and proud and then the other times I am not and I wish I could change every single detail about myself.


Many times, I wish I could show people the changes I wish they could bring upon themselves

Some times, I ponder on why they can’t see what they do.


Many times, I wish life had not handed me the atrocious parts in a sliver platter

Some times, I understand why life handed me them. To make me grow or I deserved it?


There are going to be plenty of these some and many times in my life and I know I can do something about it or nothing at all.

I will try and achieve as many of these some and many times in my life but also what I like to do instead is to fantasise and think of the possibilities rather than end my misery because there is something in this misery that keeps my mind alive and ticking.

Unfinished Beauty

You know what people don’t talk enough about. Unfinished beauty. There is a beauty when certain works are unfinished. You can’t help but wonder how would you finish the rest?

You are left with the power to create the end. It is your mind that has the power to complete the rest. You are allowed to perceive what you want. You create what ever you desire. The power to complete one’s work lies in your hands now. If you do not desire to see it finished, you can also let it be. That is the beauty. It carries infinite possibilites.

However it also leaves you in questions. How would the creator himself complete it? Is there something missing? What if I had finished watching this whole beauty rather than leaving it incomplete? How would the others make of it? What if?

Having questions in one’s mind is good because it makes you want to search for the answers to them but when you don’t find what you seek, it drives you mad.

The thing with unfinished beauty is that it differs in perspective from one to an other. What may seem like unfinished beauty to you may not be for an other. Another thing with unfinished beauty is that very few things carry the grace to make it an unfinished beauty. You can’t force things to be that way. It is in the feeling, the work and the thought proccess.

I find unfinished beauty in certain movies, art, places and photographs. I do not find them in music because in music, I love to hear it complete. Music is one thing in my life I know that will always be complete and would not leave me hanging.

I had a chance to witness a finished beauty become unfinished. It was on the May 23rd, few minutes before hitting the stroke of the 24th midnight, my birthday. It was between those moments, between the past and of the future that was about to hit me when I became an audience to a finished work becoming unfinished.

I was watching the movie Speechless, a 1994 romantic comedy. Watching that movie was like watching every dream that I ever want come true. Every dream that I hope for a great romance. That movie just showed it all and I had never been more speechless by a movie. ( Pun Intended)

The movie had only started at 11 and an hour into the movie, I fell in love with it. I wanted to see how their story ended but I couldn’t. I couldn’t because I had to go back to a life where I was turning 20. I had to go celebrate it with my family which I was great for but it made me miss this movie.

Some of you might say I can watch it again and find out how it becomes complete but I have scoured the whole Internet to find that movie and complete it, but sadly I could not find that movie no where. I also gave up on the search because I believe that I will find it when it wants to be found.

However I also believe that when the day comes I find someone I love, I will find that movie and watch the end with them. I guess in my own way, I have achieved a film worthy moment in my life. Completing an unfinished beauty with the man I love.

This is how I witnessed an unfinished beauty. I missed a chance to watch a love story that I dream of not have the ending. I left it incomplete. If I were to go back in time, I would sit and finish that movie but that would mean I would also miss out on the chance to not celebrate my adulthood at midnight with my family.

I guess, even if given the chance, I would probably still miss it because I don’t think I would want to miss a moment of my life to live in the fantasy of someone else other than mine.

I like watching food related movies and here is why

So I watched Chef, the movie long back and absolutely loved it. What’s not to love, food, making food, the journey, the sizzling and the close ups of making food. It was bomb in many ways and my heart always tends to have a soft spot for food related movies and shows.

An explosion of flavours, visuals and sounds are what always brings me back to these movies and shows.

Watching people cook and make these amazing food are magic. It’s science and art fusion. It also includes responsiiblity and organization. I like how Chefs show their immense love for food through their words and dishes in these movies. Food is one of the ways where everyone can just sit together and enjoy putting aside thier differences and conflicts. Food binds us all.

So recently on Netflix, the Chef Show got released and every episode is an aestehtic appeal of different foods, making food and having fun conversations whilst making them.

The dynamic between Jon Favreau and Roy Choi was absoutely bro friendship on so many levels. It was fun seeing them in the kitchen making these fun dishes and god how I wish I could eat and make them.

Roy being like a parent to Jon when cooking and helping him and also sometime undermining him. Hahaha. It was cute to watch and Jon being so curious and inquistive and saying “May I” to trying out new techinques in the kitchen or just following the chef. It was nice to see him so curious and interested to learn and cook.

I personally loved the second episode because the special guests were Robert Downey Jr, Tom Holland, Kevin Fige and the Russo Brothers. It was perfect and being an avid lover of food and Marvel, it was perfect.

There is also this one episode where they make the iconic dishes from the movie Chef, that Jon did. Watching them recreate that, oh my holy god. It was the most visually appealing master piece I have watched and watching them make that grilled cheese sandwich, it was bliss. I have tried to make it so many times but fail every single time.

The above clip is not from the show but from the movie. It’s the fast pace action that takes place in their food truck is what I like. Assembling of the sandwich, that melting of that oozing cheese. Oh my and that crunch. Ever since that, I have always been in hunt for Cubanos.

This grilled cheese sandwich is all what I aspire to make in life. Listen carefully to that sizzle when he places that sandwich, look at that golden browning of the bread making it so crusty and crunchy. Crisp on the outside and soft, tender and gooey in the inside. Who does not love a grilled cheese sandwich?

When he cuts the sandwich with that knife, hearing that perfect crunch is the most satisying thing ever!

What I also loved so much about this show is that before making this dish, they reveal what they make. That is present in all the cooking shows but what they do with this is that before making this dish, in a small animatiaon, they deconstruct this dish and show the ingredients that make up this dish. It’s a 2 second clip of the deconstruction of this dish and putting it back together. It just blowed my mind to be honest.

It was enjoying to watch and such a good way to unwind. The only disadvantage of this show was that it made me hungry so much and I only wanted to eat those food and nothing else.

Moving on to my favourite cooking movie of all time, Julie and Julia. What I like so much about this movie is the connection Julie and Julia share with food when they exist in different times. Through food, Julie shares a special bond which Julie who helped her from her soul sucking job. She does so by deciding to prepare Julia’s 524 recipes from her cook book over a course of an year and she maintains her progress and writes about in her blog.

I guess this is why it’s my favourite cooking movie ever. It has all my favourite elements. Writing, cooking, food, comedy and a good tale.

Julie making these dishes were just so connecting, fun and meaningful to watch. I am going to insert some of my favuorte clips from this movie and you shall see why I like it so much.

Having a good conversation over food, finding your spiritual calling.

What’s not to love about this scene? It’s butter, melted butter. How is this not the most heavenly scene? That creamy melted butter and Julie’s voice and words explaining what unfolds is a complete trance. I also love the fact that she writes about it and she has a way with words which just instantly grabbed my attention and makes me love this movie more.

I am a sucker for words and food.

I am proud to say the fact that I have eaten Boeuf Bourguignon. Its because of this dish in the movie that I took the courage to go out, try something new and I am embraced every flavour of it. I usually am very hesitant when it comes to trying out new dishes but that doesn’t stop me from taking the plunge.

In this clip, just look at that wonderful stew in that pot, the steam arising from it as she pours the wine, her explaining the connection she shares with Julia Child in that moment. What’s not to fall in love with?

And would you just take a look at that raspberry and cream. The pink and white colours blending to create the most perfect and tastiest pink dessert ever seen. I can imagine it being the most creamiest tasitest luxiourus grandest elegant piece of food ever put in my mouth.

Watching her complete her great grand success by making a hearty meal for her friends and husband and for herself is the cherry on top to a beautiful sunade ever known to man kind.

That toast and the monologue that takes place over this scene is so touching and emotional and a grand end to a great movie. Her voice so delicate and touching is what pushes it to a nodge.

Some of my other favourites are Masterchef Australia, The Great British Bake off. I do not mind the competion in these shows but what I enjoy so much again is the creative mind of these chefs in making and desigining their food. How they come up with such interesting takes on food and creating a completelty new dish. That is wow.

An other favourite is Ratatouille. My most favourite scene is none other than Remy cooking Ratatouille. Making a simple food but with putting all your passion and heart into it is what makes it the best and so elegant.

Watching Remy cook that dish, showing how to cook, his plating of the dish is just pleasing to watch and then the critqiue dropping his pen as soon as he takes the first bite. Now that is the IT FACTOR. The food hitting him close to home and reminding him of the good memories, watching him enjoy every bite of it and not resisting it’s power. He takes a break from his mean cold persona and just relishes in his food forgetting about everything else.

That is what’s called Being in the moment.

It’s inspiring to watch this movie because it shows no matter how small, big, you are. I like how he proved his worth, his skills and how he took that chance to show who he was.

He was not afraid to chase his dream. That’s a lesson we all can learn and remeber once in a while when we feel upset. Not to quit chasing and working towards our dream.

You can do anything as long as you have the passion and heart into it and also well a tiny bit of luck!

At the end of the day, food is magic created by the Gods and Holy Spirits to cure us from these horrible moments of life. In that moment, when food is there, you think about nothing else. A good time always comes out of food. Food is divine and the people making it are Gods.

I just wish I could just live, sleep and eat food and rest like how the Gods did. What a divine life that would be!

The Endgame…

A thing you should know about me is that I care very deeply for movies, shows and books especillay the ones that I have invested my life and time in, it is a part of me, so some people might think that this is all a bit too much but frankly, I do not care because this is me. I love this bit about myself. Loving these movies, shows and books with all this passion and intensity is what I love the most. I feel infinite.

Coming to the point on what this piece is going to be about, I have been a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe as long as I can remember and I just watched Endgame, the movie that brought that saga to an end. The movie that brought a decade to an end.

Relax; I am not to be giving out any spoilers because I am not the fan that will ever betray my family like that. I respect and worship the work way too much to do that and also life taught me that in hard ways.

Coming back to what this piece is about; my mind and heart cannot fathom to bring itself in terms with what I witnessed and were a part of. I watched the movie two times in a row and I am feeling all these emotions that I don’t know how to control. I am drowning in them; not in the way that I enjoy but to the point where my heart physically pains and I need a way to heal.

So here I am pouring out my emotions because I feel this could be my way of healing.

I wander around these empty spaces with a heavy heart

I feel my heart getting crushed by the weight of the boulder that has been dropped from the heights above

It was cathartic

I sit here buried in tears and crash into the warmth of my comforter

I made the mistake of not understanding how broken I would be after I a saga come to an end

I have been in this ride for years and years knowing but also not knowing what it was all leading up to…

I fell in love with all of them, I fell in love with how each of them progressed with time

I fell madly in love with the family and the team

I too have a weakness like every other being, my mind does not want to be bias but my heart has been tuned out differently

I have given my heart to the people that were since the dawn of the time, to the people that lay the foundation for this great miracle, the team that started the intitiative and set up the saga

These stories were intense but fun, heart shattering but carried a sense of bitter sweetness,

Enemies were made, Friendships were made and broken, Teams came together yet also fell apart. Everything and anything managed to happen

Chaos erupted across the galaxies

I have shed tears, I have laughed, I have rejoiced, I have been gutted. I have loved. I have hated. I have felt everything I possibly can through these stories.

My heart would always lie with the six. The origins of a greater good. The start to it all.

Over the years, it all lied in the tiny fragments, each fragment carried a piece ultimately leading up to the end, the end for many of us but also a beginning to a new dawn

I never realised how embedded I was in this until I realised I may never see them again. I failed to understand how much of a mess and a chaos I would be. I underestimated how much I would be affected. I did not put it into count.

I stroll along those memory lanes and dwell when times were simpler. To the times I knew they would come back.

My mind and heart refuse to fathom that it has come to an end, a conclusion. An end where I will never see them return again.

As the sun sets, a new dawn arises and that is what had happened

I thank you and will always cherish you Marvel.

Like they said, “Part of the journey is the end.”

I look forward to what you have in store for us.

Thank you for the best 11 years and for the best 22 movies you have given us.

My love feels blue

I feel blue

Blue has so many layers that I swim in

I dwell in those deep shades of blue

It has the layer of joy

It has the layer of sadness

I crave it for the warmth 

I crave it for it’s wintry crisp

I crave it for it’s gloomy storms

Blue is an appetite that always stirs up my senses and affections

I like to drown myself into the void of blue

It masks what I feel and dream about 

My love feels blue 

A blue that is desolate, A blue that wants to invite, A blue that fears, A blue that clenches and hopes, A blue that is alone.

I dream about love

A love so great

A love that I may never find 

I dream of love in my dreams and fantasies 

My fantasies are filled with love and the lust of it

I am happy in it, I feel connected and safe

I feel the happiest when I feel them

It feels so surreal, in that moment I feel almost complete as I stand on an edge that prevents from making the cross over to the other side

It is a sense of joy and warmth that I cannot explain 

How can dreams make me feel so safe and warm

Why do I dream of love every time I lie down to slumber 

Do I crave it so much that I need to dream in order to have it? 

I am afraid of not finding it 

I am afraid that there is no one out there who could love me

My brain forms many stories about love, many fantasies but I am afraid it is all too false in this world 

I blame the songs and films I listen and watch with so much of heart 

I blame the worlds of the stories I explore 

I blame myself for falling into a trap that I am afraid I can never get out of 

I blame myself for letting it all fall into me 

I blame myself for letting them cross over the walls I never built, the walls that were meant to not let it happen

But through these songs, movies, stories and dreams I live and breathe it all

I do not want this to ever stop yet it keeps slicing and wounding deeper and deeper

I dream of a love where he never lets go and stays beside me 

I dream of a love where we stay up all night admist the barren land looking at the stars above us and listening to songs that were meant for this very moment 

I dream where we dance under the stars all night long…

I dream of a love where we both understand and love each other to the fullest despite our differences and faults 

I dream of a love so raw, intense and passionate 

I dream of a love where there is understanding, communication, respect, integrity, loyalty and all the goodness associated with it

I dream of a love where we both maintain our own individualities

I dream of a love where we still can live and survive without each other but we choose not to because we are so in love

I dream of a love where we travel and discover 

I dream of it all that I have now lost count 

I see other people and their great love stories and I wonder am I asking for too much or am I simply not worth it any time soon or ever? 

I am happy with what I have right now in this present time 

But why do I always crave for that feeling 

In the back of the corners of my mind, I wait in search for that love 

I not only want to accept the joy and lust of love but also would invite the heart break along with it 

I gladly accept the pain that it will bring into my life

I will gladly welcome the gut wrenching hurt along with it, the hurt when things turn array

I will gladly soak myself with the pain that no words could ever describe 

I welcome it all and accept the consequences as well 

I am still in hopes

I patiently wait and wait as my mind tells me there is a time and place for it all

When I am ready, it will come and seek me or do I go searching for it? 

How will I ever know? 

What if I have someone far far away but the world lets it be, never giving us a chance to ever cross paths? 

How will I ever know? 

Will you ever hand me down a sign? 

Someday, when I acquire my love, I will still feel blue but I will be swimming into the new shades of blue, a blue that is left waiting to be dwelled into…

I want to love

I want to be loved…

Why

Why does my heart ache at something that never had the fullest possibility of ever happening?

Perhaps it was due to the fact that it dangled in front of me like a bait and I was lured into and trapped.

Why does my heart cry out in silence and clutch at the possibility of clinging on to that hope that would make me happy again?

Perhaps it was due to the fact that I had to pass these days to finish of work and find a drive to motivate me to do my life.

Why do I put myself through these days and hope for a miracle to befall and change it all?

Perhaps it’s because I am a fool to believe in the grandeur and delusions that my heart still clings on to waiting for some good miracles to take place.

Why does the universe conspire against me?

Perhaps it enjoys tricking me into believing that my happiness would be fulfilled; but it then snatches it away at the very end leaving me in sadness and despair

I blame it not on the world and the people in it but solely on myself for expecting it to happen

I blame myself for clinging on to that hope and faith of it taking place into action

When the odds are stacked up against it; I still firmly stand my resolve onto that very last hope

But as each day transpires; I find myself being toyed with and not knowing where to stand and what to put my beliefs into

It is the night and I find myself very upset and lonely at how the outcomes have played in

I seek no companionship or love but only the warmth of some warm home food and the comfort of my loving family beside me at these sad times

But they are not here and are miles away, away from my heart and away from bodies…

My troubles are deep rooted and lie in the tangled web of my feelings and emotions for my family… This is a string so entangled in this web that disrupting it would be equivalent to destructing myself and the universe I exisit in.

I bother to not find a way of letting these troubles escape and fall into the hands of my companions as it is of no use…

I have the best of the comrades with me, but why can I not confide in them?

Perhaps a solution even by them won’t solve the fix I am in…

Why bother when the world can’t help or create a solution?

Talks with my comrades help

Talks help but for how long? They are a source of comfort but the pain still resides now stronger than ever without myself ever realizing it…

No one seems to truly understand where I come from or what I intent as I have trouble laying it out for them to understand, see and dwel.

As I struggle to take out these feelings and pour it out here, I find that the ache still tighlty clutches around my heart and the feeling of sadness has made its home in here now.

What use are my efforts to put it out if I am not getting relived of this mess?

Why bother when the world can’t help or create a solution?

What can I do to evade myself out of this glorified pain?

Sleep it off and let it transpire to the next dawn I wake up in.

Let my mind skip on to the other good things of life and try to move on

What I find myself comforting is indulging is into bussum and the pleasures of Satan?

The former was an attempt to humour myself from the the series of unfortunate events I have taken a turn to

I find myself indulging not into the pleasures of Satan as a comedic relief but into the world of movies and televison shows, being a spectre and the observer of an other world helps myself slip away from the troubles I am in now

From one world to an other, oh how I would love to hop around when things go uneasy all the times but alas one cannot do that at all times.

Or wait for the event to happen and then mope around for believing in the chances and the luck of it happening at all, but what if?

A fool you are to believe that good things happen all the times…

Have you not learnt anything my dear fool?

Why does …

Perhaps, let’s not bother…

Somewhere along the past…

( I do not remember when I wrote this, but when I read it, I knew this was me at one stage in life, probably around last year or might be in 2017 and I was helpless…

When I am stuck in moments like these, words pour out of me without myself putting any thought into it. I write and write until my heart and mind are pleased or relieved… When I later read those pieces, I am often astonished by the depth, seriousness and introduces me to a new side I haven’t met before. This side of me stays hidden and comes out when I am in deep thoughts or stuck in moments where everything fails except for words…

I have never felt more like a stranger to my own self when I read this.

I have decided to post more of these and express myself more for myself… I do not want to hide behind my fears… )

 

What has become of me? Right now at this very moment, I am confused and in a dilemma at all times. I am in a tough spot some of the times, maybe the majority of them. The world and the people in it are all a puzzle now. I seem to not understand what makes me me. It all seemed so simple back then, what happened now?

I can assure you it’s not life what has happened. Something else has changed and I can’t seem to put a finger on which part of the equation I have to fix in order to get out of this hole.

It was all easy a few moments before and now in the blink of an eye, I seem to be standing at no crossroad. I now stand at a path with various disruptions and continuations to many other paths. These new places and people confuse and intrigue me, reinventing myself at this point is not what I look for right now.

I feel like I have changed for the good in some aspects of myself. Change is a risk.

I would like to think it’s been good yet a tough ride to self discovery and achieving. I am honestly tired of it all.

Everything is a constant change.

Never have I felt more alone and complete at this point. I feel vulnerable yet strong somewhere along the lines.

I tend to finally feel at peace when I listen to songs that my soul cries out to in the nights.

Solace and quietness is what I look forward to now.

I feel like I have been real this entire while but there is also a constant void and lost sense of feeling that always lurks around. This feeling has partially consumed my body.

It won’t take too long for it to completely dissolve within myself.

I have brought out these new feelings in me which I am not used to. For the better or the worse, I do not know.

The most beautiful heartbreaking feeling in this universe is to keep all those pouring soul tearing emotions and thoughts in.

I want to tell it out but I don’t know how and I feel like I would lose some part of myself if I do that.

I have so many contradictions within me. There are so many undiscovered aspects of myself I want to know about.

Home has now become a confusing word. I feel nowhere at home except in the arms of my mom.

I wish I could hold onto everything that I love and not let it go.

I am tired of questioning myself. These questions now seem to wear me out.

Insecurities, fears, doubts have now established as a strong foundation in this body of mine and the process of discovering who I am beneath all this is in its works and is a long way.

There is a void in me which I don’t know how to fill

After all, Nothing is ever as it seems with me.

Why do time and life have to get in the way of it all?

 

-Roshni Marath Jairaj