Thank You

Rather than fixating on things that are wrong with this world, with me or around me, I wanted to remember the things that make me thankful for the life I have. 

I wanted to remind myself there are many things to thank for, but I don’t do it enough. 

My Thank You To Everyone

Thank you to my family for pushing me to my dreams, for being the essential backbone to my life, for loving me, for doing so much more than I ask for!

Thank you to my mom and dad for every single thing you have done for me. Thank you for your sacrifices! Thank you for everything! Thank you for bringing me to this Earth so that I can live this good life!

Thank you grandmom and grandad for being the best, for helping my mom, dad and I so much! Thank you for your wonderful smiles and help! I miss you all very much!

Thank you to my Vellima, Resmy Swaminathan for being the pillar of strentgh to everybody! God bless your soul and I always know you are there for me and my family because the stars have never shined brighter! You will always live in all our hearts.

Thank you to my friends and my best friends for being there and for allowing me to be the real me. Thank you for sticking through, thank you for the memories, thank you for the fun times, thank you for the emotional everything! Thank you millions!

Thank you to the frenemies for doing what you did. I do not regard this in a bad sense, but I thank you because I have learnt more about myself through these experiences and if not for you, I perhaps would have stuck to my crooked ways and not realized why I hurt you. Thank you for teaching me about the different people in this world.

Thank you to those specific teachers who saw me for who I am, who supported me, who favoured me, who loved me, who taught me the best, and for being one of the reasons to the best school life I ever had.

Thank you to my school and my friends for making half of my school experience as fantastic as possible! Thank you for fun overnight camps, thank you for a visit to the parks where we could have fun, thank you for the morning assemblies, thank you for everything!

Thank you to my home for giving me the sanity to go through life. Thank you to the specific corners of my house where I can slip through to escape some of the wraths.

Thank you, Dubai and the streets for giving me my peace and calm.

Thank you, Kerala for your authenticity, language, emotions, songs, monsoon rains and greenery!

Thank you, Singapore, for helping me adjust to you and for trapping me in a lovely trance for you!

Thank you night drives for helping me build a support system to rely back to. Thank you for creating a path of nostalgia to keep me going!

Thank you Beaches, The Seas and The Oceans for giving me the depth and passion I need. Thank you skies for making my days a fantasy! Thank you rains and moody skies for motivating me in a weird way and for helping me remember my home.

Thank you to all the songs I listen to, thank you for being there and not going away. Thank you for being the support I needed. Thank you for your words. When no one else seems to understand, you are there.

Thank you movies and shows for helping me build a world where I can escape to! Thank you for enlightening me in all ways as possible!

Thank you writers, poets, novels and books for exisiting! Thank you for everything magical you have provided me with!

Thank you to life for helping me grab opportunities that help me advance towards progress!

Thank you to my mind for helping me think about the logics of the situation. Thank you to my mind for helping me realize many of the things my heart fails to capture.

Thank you to my heart for making me human. Thank you to my heart and soul for supplying me with emotions that elevate me to new and the unknown.

Thank you to my body for keeping me alive and for giving me the ability to do a lot!

Thank you, nature for your existence and for helping us live! Thank you for the beautiful and breathtaking sights you offer! Thank you for being there for us! I am in awe of your strength, and I will try my best to help you in whatever ways possible so all of us can keep you safe and healthy!

I Thank You God for helping me, my family, my friends and the world in whatever ways possible! Thank you to the universe and the Gods for being a hand in making my dreams come true!

I apologoize if I might have missed not thanking any of you for your help but I am in debt and thankful for your existence and everything you have done for me!

Thank you to the old times. Thank you for the present and I look forward to Thank You, The imminent future!

I do not want to be a quitter

So my parents have this idea expected from me that I tend to quit some of the many things I seem to try. I would say that I simply run out of interest in them. I do not quit because it is hard, I just lost my interest in them and yes maybe one time, I quit because it became hard.

When I am about to start something new, my parents beat around the bush to tell me not to quit very subtly. ( Mom, Dad, you guys do not know how to be subtle… ) It makes me upset but I see where they are coming from. I have quit quite some things.

The past two years completely changed me in many ways. I have learnt not to quit very easily. I try my best and put in everything I have got. At the end of the day when the result comes, I know I did my absolute best. Even if the results are not favourable, I learn what needs to be done and then go for the run again. I know that nothing should or could stop me from chasing the dream I want to lead.

I will admit when the results are not in the odds, I do get crushed and burnt. When I want to get up and start, my mom is the one that sweeps away the ashes and brings me up again, like a Phoenix.

If not for her, I would remain to be crushed and sad for inhumanly as long as possible. She reminds me not to give up and go for it even if the odds are stacked against me. She is never dissapointed in me because she knows I do my best and she has taught me to see that as well.

This degree I am doing now, sometimes the odds are not in my favour even if I have given up my world and tried my best. Sometimes it is like that and that would want you to give up but then you need to always remember the bigger picture, the bigger dream and it is going to happen. That’s what makes me going. I have my faith, hard work, my belief in destiny and passion and I know that it will happen.

I try not to imagine the negative outcomes of the “what if”. Instead I imagine the endless possibilities of the “what if” which inspires me to try what I dream of.

This blog that I started a year ago has become a symbol that represents I have not quit. I started this blog to post what I write and feel and I am still doing it one year later. When I did not get the results I hoped for, I had it in me to quit but no, I continued to write and express. I remembered why I decided to start this home of mine. This blog that is present here stands as a symbol of my dreams and my strength. It stands as a form of my expression and dreams.

This home of mine proves that I can do anything and everything. I need to always put in my hardwork, passion and what ever I have got into any work my soul has set its heart onto.

I do not want to be a quitter and I won’t be one. If anything hard comes in my ball park, I will make sure to try and hit the home run out of it. If not a home run, atleast I would try to score some goals rather than be kicked out of the game.

My Belief System

I can believe things that are true and things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not.

Neil Gaiman, American Gods

 

Without doubt or any hesitation, I put my faith and belief into certain things that give me peace and make me sane. A huge part of where I come from and my belief system is from my mom, my life and my culture and I am glad she, my life and my culture had a helping hand with it.

I believe in God, religion, astrology, philosophies; many of the ones that Science cannot explain…

I put my belief into them because they give me a sense of reassurance and comfort when nothing else seems to work. I put my belief into them because in dire needs of hope and desperation, I can call out to them and I know they listen. I put my belief in them because I believe and trust that they are with me through thick and thin.

 

My faith and belief make me strong and I know there are people out there who have their own belief system and values, some of them necessarily may not agree with my belief system and I am not forcing you to see things in my way, I respect what you agree, choose and follow; After all, who am I to judge what you believe in… Whatever makes you strong, I am happy and content with it.

I like to respect and see their choices as well without frowning or looking down upon them because I know how it feels and I have seen it, I can tell you I am not a fan of it. So I do my very best to be open to everyone’s choices and wishes and I learn from them and respect them, but there are certain circumstances in which I simply cannot stand by them because some of their beliefs are just plain wrong and I feel they cause the world harm.

 

Coming back to my beliefs, I was inspired to write this because I just finished watching a video on Youtube about tarot card predictions and I do put some of my belief into it. There is a sort of thrill in choosing what card may or may not predict your future and I like to see the outcome.

The video down below is what tempted me to write this post.

 

Watching the video and after choosing my card, I was surprised by how bafflingly accurate some of those predictions were, I knew some of them were going to happen and I guess I needed some sort of assurance for myself to tell me to go through with it. That’s how horoscopes help me as well, they put me to ease and knowing a bit about my future even if it’s a 50-50 chance with them, I still take it because it’s calming to know about what awaits you.

I do not justify my behaviour and my actions by saying that’s what my horoscope says. I do believe in it and sometimes I do find it surprising that things happen the way it does, it’s all about the element of surprise and caution I take from it. It teaches me in a way. It’s like a small guide that is a bit helpful to go on about life. When I feel doubtful about certain things, reading it gives me a push to go and do it. It’s a motivation and a reminder in that way.

 

A few days back, I got my results after my exams and coursework, it was not what I expected, the insane amount of hard work you put in and when the result you get doesn’t match, it’s devastating. You question everything that you have done, you question everything that you have taken, you feel the absolute worst at that moment.

So I talked to my mom and dad that helped me calm down and then I prayed to God and had a conversation with God where I put out all my thoughts; it was more like talking to myself and finding something in it. I questioned God why and I believe something and everything happens for a reason; maybe this was to teach me something, but what? Like the many questions, I dedicated my full day to it as to figuring out why and what I can do.

So after all that hurt and tears, I felt a bit relaxed and relieved. This motivated me to work harder and give it my best as I always have.

 

When I believe in my faith and religion, it gives me peace and keeps me sane. It pushes me to go forward and there is something so comforting and reassuring in knowing there is someone out there who is watching you and protecting you. Sometimes the bad and inevitable might happen, which makes me question the entirety of what I believe in and I do not have any answers to give out, but I still do believe and put my faith into God and my religion.

 

Under the weather

When one feels under the weather, you know what they crave for the most?

Some warm soup and good TV to turn that dying cough into a tiring laugh…

Jokes aside and yes the above was a joke attempted and now you know how bad my humor is. Apologies for that, I am not feeling up to the mark as I am currently ill whilst writing this.

It’s a rainy day outside and I have shut the drapes to a close as I do not want my mind to lure into taking a walk outside where it’s cold, windy harsh and rainy. Not quite the perfect antidote to cure the sick, if one intends to get more sick than before, I suggest you do the above, if you live in a hot country, go under the shower, take a bath for the whole night and do not dry yourself up. You might get a cold, I haven’t tried that one yet. Tell me how it goes or not…

There it is, dry humor to avoid writing what I really feel now. Never had that problem before. This sickness keeps getting worse and tiring by each agonizing minute.

I feel like a sick and needy Sheldon and I like it… Dear Lord…

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As I mentioned before, I am sick, I have caught myself a little cold and I could feel my body plummeting down to the bottom of the pit where it feels impossible to get back up. I have also got the scratches as in my throat is scratchy and I dislike it because it pains me to swallow and well talk…

Despite all of that, I went for my lectures because I decided I did not want to fail in life and after seeing the lecture slides the day before, I realized I have the IQ of a peanut when it came to that module. So getting up today and dragging myself to campus for a lecture at 10 which talked half an hour to reach is quite the work in itself when you are sick…

I have brought some medicines for myself and I am a bit better than before. I can stand on my feet and walk for a few minutes without having the urge to slumber in my bed for the rest of eternity. That’s a success…

Throughout this day, one thought lurked around wherever and whenever my mind decided to divert itself. It was a soul-crushing reality smacking saddening thought that tore me.

Given the circumstances, I have granted myself permission to be on the exaggeration scale as my brain isn’t in the right mind to filter every thought that it went. My fingers are typing every thought that my mind is coming up with and they too have lost the game because they too have been infected by the plague that is taking over my almost lifeless body…

( How sick am I?)

Let me get to the point before my brain yaps more…

Why I started writing now was because I am trying to get myself to sleep and I can’t bring myself to sleep. So I tried to hold a book and bring myself to read it but now it’s simply resting on my belly untouched…

So the best way to describe how I feel is by words.

To tell you the truth, I feel sad, lonely, very cold and tired… It all started when that sneaky little cold caught up to me when I least expected it, and that was the Rookie mistake one. I was weak and it resided in me.

Rookie mistake 2: The heart’s desires and the mind’s compulsive obsession to ponder on everything that has the power to wreck me which is sadness.

I wish my parents were here or I was there back home so that I could just be sick and we’ll have taken care of. The love and care that you get is just a cure in itself. It’s part of the healing process, and over here I have to do the Adulting and Studenting (MADE UP WORD kids, do not blame me if you use it in your school or essay and teachers yell at you. Warning had been given. Do not choose to ignore, otherwise choose to face the wrath) all by myself. It’s too much for a sick child in an almost adult teenager’s body to handle.

When you are sick, you just want to sleep and not care about whether the world exists tomorrow or not because you are simply too god damn tired to think so. When you are sick, you want your loved ones to be beside you and take care of you… You just want to be home and be taken care of…

 

(Searching for the pictures below of parents taking care of kids when they are sick made me even sadder and reminded me of the fact that I was alone. So no picture)

 

I want my mom to cuddle me and lie down next to me saying I am going to be fine and gently kissing my forehead whilst placing ice cold towels on my forehead to bring my fever down. In the evening, I want to get up from sleep and sit next to my dad and talk and watch some TV with my family while my dad cuddles me that makes me warm. As night approached, I want to be covered in a heap of blankets prepared by my dad and sleep.

I want all that here but I can’t have it…

You get that sick day off back home but here, I can’t give that to myself because obligations and responsibilities come knocking down the door and force you to dress up and be ready.

Why did my almost teenage years have to end so soon? Why come a time when you are plunged into that world of making it on your own? Why can’t I just be where I want to be with the loved ones all in one place? Why can’t I have it all?

Over here, I have to wake up because I need to go for the lecture, if not I will get screwed. Then I have to take care of my own health which means figuring out what food to eat, making it or ordering it, then going to Uni which is the worst because I have to walk for 15 minutes to catch a bus and then go to uni… And later I need to go to the pharmacy to get some antibiotics because I wish to get better and not die from this sluggishness. And lastly, I just wish my parents were here to help me with all that.

At times like these, you know the sadness and the desperation of having someone with you, especially those you love and who you want…

But despite all this, you know what this has taught me: I am strong and mighty and I can make it even if I am on the verge of dying. It’s never easy but I can do it, with a few complaints along the way because that’s how I roll. That is the only one good thing I am taking out of the bad lot.

#Livingthesickunilife 

The lesson of the day: Being sick sucks and kids take care of yourself.

Enjoy while it lasts…

-Roshni Marath Jairaj

Farewell to my humble abode…

18th December 2018, this day was surely faced with a  mixed bag of emotions. On this day, I received the wonderful news which was at first devasting because me being me, I never ask for the whole details. I really should inquire about the whole rather than the half.

The news was that my dad got a wonderful job in Singapore which means we all had to leave Dubai, my home.

It was THE GOODBYE, I always dreaded and knew would come someday…

So at first, I was devasted because I realised this winter break was the last time I was truly ever at my home and also with my friends. Then it would all be packed off to Singapore… At first, I was not happy and carried a dislike to the place immediately because of you, my home was taken away from me. I had to say goodbye to it. I am not fond of goodbye’s and you made me do it…

A tip to myself and the people out there: Always remember to wait and listen to the whole details rather than staying at the half, and also ask whatever troubling questions you have about the problem. It may surprise you when the solutions are out there immediately. 

I vividly remember this day because I crashed down and broke into huge tears. This was the day I truly realized how much Dubai meant to me and the effects it had on me. It charmed me in and left me bewitched. I have been hooked onto Dubai for long as I can remember. That’s what home does to you. It’s a drug you can’t say goodbye to because it is embedded so deep in your system. You are never truly free from it.

Dubai was what kept me sane and happy. It was what I looked forward to when I came back from uni, indulging into Dubai after my experiences at uni was a comfort. When I had trouble at uni and I was so homesick and troubled by the life there, knowing that I would come back home was what that got me through those tough uncosonalble times, but now it it’s gone… The home and friendship comfort always soothed me, but now it was gone… But there are still ways to mend it…

I found out my dad got a better job at Singapore, so that means goodbye Dubai, my home for 18 years and hello to an entirely different place Singapore. I am looking forward to it, I am really excited to see what it has to offer for myself and my family. My dad and mom are happy and seeing them happy, it makes me happy. A new beginning for my family, I hope and pray for it to be a good new happy fresh start.

All happiness aside, I do feel gutted and upset that I am leaving Dubai, it has been my home for 17 years. I grew up here, lived here, roamed around here, made loads of memories and friendships here, but this wasn’t goodbye forever… The memories would stay on forever… It would always be there in me… I faced many hardships and many happiness from here, it has made me who I am. You were also a good teacher and master to me.

After the crying I did, my parents promised and reassured that I would come back here for my vacations and meet my friends and my home So I am not worried and upset about it, but it truly does suck having your home snatched away. Leaving the place where you call home, and then doing the adjusting process all over again. It takes time for me to adjust to a new place and that was evident when I had to do it in uni. If only, I could have listened before crying, but maybe it was good for me to get it all out of my system. Crying is one of the most effective ways for me to get whatever I have out. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it helps me get it all out and I feel much better. Talking with the right people also helps a lot, so thank you to my mom, dad, and my best friends for being there when I need to talk and for knocking some sense into me.

To my Best Friends out there, we all are growing up, changing, going into different directions and we may not be around for long at the same place. We all might end up in different places, but that doesn’t mean we are going to be lost forever never finding each other. I always manage to annoy and be by them whenever possible, which is through text, calls, and video. They are always there, no matter where I am and where they are. The distance is hard, it’s a huge obstacle, but we are there for each other. There are some friendships that are so strong and worth it, you and them would do anything to be a part of it because it’s too beautiful to abandon and let go. It’s a team effort, not a solo one to make the friendship work.

I knew that Dubai wouldn’t last forever for us. I did have to leave this place for good at some point. Eventually, we all would have to go back to India, but now there is Singapore offering us a bright future for all of us. I am grateful to Singapore for that.

So in a way, I am glad that the sooner it happened, the better. It gave me time to deal with it and accept it. It also gave my father one of the best opportunities. If not, who knew what would happen at that time?

How long can one live in the fantasy? It’s all about the change. That change is from where life gets its thrill from. It thrives on that.

Change is hard, change is easy, different people react to it differently. Accept change and don’t try to battle with it because, with time, that change be it bad, it will leave it’s lingering shadow some time or the other and be it good, it’s going to stick around and be there in your life. “Expect for the unexpected.”

Home is where the family is, right? So I hope that Singapore could eventually turn into a place where I can call it home. I am eager and looking forward to it, but saying goodbye to this place. It’s hard, but I am moving on with it better than I expected to…

Everything happens for the best. That’s what I am going by and sometimes things do happen truly for the best. I am going in it with the all the “high hopes.” (Any Panic! Fans here?) I could relate to that song because that’s also what my mama tells me.

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The last time I am going to be here staying in my home. As I am writing this post, this is my last day in Dubai before I leave back for university. 11th January 2019.

When I come back for my break, it’s Singapore. Hello Singapore, I await you…

Dubai, You have made me happy in all ways you can…

The Goodbye.

Thursday 27th September, 5:53 PM

It has been quite a while since I have written and now couldn’t be a more better time to write what I feel and am going through. The only way I could express myself when I can’t express with others are through words and sentences. Words understand you and they are there to help and heal you through this. I hope I could get alright.

So the reason as to why I couldn’t write in these few days was because of shifting and well university. My parents had come along with me back to Nottingham to help shift and arrange my room and well just be there for me.

Those 9 days that were there, those 9 days I spent with them, in a matter of 9 seconds, it flew by right away and here we are, in the toughest spot, The Goodbye.

Since the moment the dawn made it’s entrance today, I became glum, sad, nervous and sad again. I cried. I wept, I hugged my mother and did not want her to leave, then we cried. They haven’t left yet, they will leave as a new dawn arises tomorrow, at 1 AM.

Why are goodbyes the hardest? How come it never gets any easier? Every single time, as I went through, it never became easier. It became harder instead. As months and time passed by, I knew one thing for sure. Things would never remian the same and one day, I would be living without them in this world, and that thought ruined and broke me.

I asked my friend the same question and he couldn’t get it more right. In his words,” It’s the bond. The connection. Deeper the bond, harder the goodbyes”

As I write now, tears fill my eyes and vision. Small drops roll down my face and I can’t help but break down both internally and externally.

As the ticking hand of the clock moves, a crack starts to form in my heart, mind and soul. Each agonizing minute passes, the hole gets bigger and deeper.

I have this feeling in my heart, a burning feeling. Not the ones that make you feel good but the one that aches and really burns you. That feeling comprises of nervouseness, anxiousness, scaredness, sadness and well burning sensation. I often get it, sometimes in the middle of no where for no reason and some times getting that feeling in situations is valid.

Right now, I have that feeling and it’s getting too much for me to handle. I can’t breathe. I don’t know.

It’s 11:02 pm and barely a few hours for them to leave.

Starting to feel like a count down to the water works.

Right now, as I see my mom and dad rest their tired  selves on my bed, I can’t help but my heart breaks with sadness as it dawns upon the reliaziation that they are leaving and I can’t physically be with them until my break. They have done so much for me when they came here, and it makes me sad. Seeing them tired is heart breaking.

I have heard all the talks, they will be in your heart, you can talk to them any time of the day but it’s different. I want to be with them in the same place, same area, at my home.

I try to distract myself by watching my favourite shows, by listening to my favourite songs. It works but only for that time being, when it ends, what am I supposed to do?

I am the kind of person that genuinely wants to be left alone when I am upset, sad and angry and also when I want to be alone. I deeply appreciate it when my friends try to distract me by taking me out, having fun and keeping my mind off things but the more they do it, the more difficult it becomes for me to deal with it. At times it really helps and I am glad it did but in the rest of the many times, it hasn’t. I would like to try but forcing is just going to make it worse. I have my own way of deailing with it and it won’t or it doesn’t seem like the best way but it works. I need that time alone to be sad, angry and upset. It helps me.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with what life presents, I am not saying that what I do is the best way, but it helps, but at times it hurts other people seeing me like this and it hurts them because they don’t know how they can help me out. So what am I supposed to do? I would want to be left alone, but also when there is company, I do sometimes forget the troubles life offers. I guess it’s all with the flow.

At 1:00 AM 

It was time for them to leave, half an hour left. I did not have any tears to spare, so I bid farewell and a goodbye to my mom and dad with a small forced smile on my face. As they boarded the cab, I expected myself to cry but to my surprise I didn’t. When I returned back to my room, I felt an instant nostalgaia hit with waves of sadness becuse a few moments before, I was here with my mom and dad. So this goodbye was a good one and a better one. It was a better goodbye probably because I cried it all out earlier, maybe that’s the technique I am going to adopt now.

At 2:34 AM

I am in the comfort of my bed and room. I guess I am calm and not as upset as I hoped to be. Is that a good thing or will it hit me later? I made myself a cup of tea, it was my first tea and it was a success!! I couldn’t be more happier and proud of myself. The tea calmed me down along whilst I watched Victorious on Netflix. I also had a nice chit chat with one of my room mates. It was nice.

I also talked to my parents and well we didn’t seem much upset. It was good. For once, it felt nice not to cry.

And now as the final conclusion, I think I might watch a movie or I might finally sit and complete this post, but I wouldn’t want to force myself to complete this because forced things often never result with the most authentic and close heart felt piece.

It was a good end to a pretty sad day. Ends like these are good and I do hope to seek more.

 

The Goodbye part 2, To be continued…

Breathing in.

” Never had I thought that the scents I would breathe in would someday become the dire drug my body needed in order to exist and often be used to rejuvenate myself back to life. This was that drug that needed to be taken in your life quite often to know that good and joy still exists. It’s a holy blessing.”

 

Disclaimer: Experiences might differ from one indivdiual to another

It was a normal day. Nothing ordinary out of the blue was going to make an entrance into my life.

Dad was coming back from Kerala, after his short visit. So the whole morning was dedicated to his coming. Mom finishing all her jobs in a panic and hurry was a sight my heavy heart had to witness every day. This routine was the usual dose a morning in this household could have. So far, no screams had been hurled because it was just the two of us for now.

I took my morning shower and then proceeded to help my mom ease the panic and the tension. So the first task of the day was to put the old newspapers out for recycling.

Taking the papers in my hand, as soon as I stepped out of the flat, the scent of the corridors eased my panic and helped me relax.

I was happy, I was the nostalgia happy.

For a brief moment, a short movie based on my memory of the happy days in Kerala played. The scent of the corridors took me back to the mornings of Kerala, at my mother’s place.

It started with a house beside the lake. Early mornings, I could hear the temple sermons and songs. That was how the small town woke up.

Later in the day, I could hear the birds chirp and that’s how I woke up. The curtains danced along to the wind, the sun rays lighted up the room and the breezy cold wind woke me up. This alarm clock was one of the world’s best invention and creation. It was my secret and also that of the town’s. It was solely ours.

My morning started with the scent of the warm milk my grandmother made for me.

Then later, the house was filled with the scent of flowers especially of Jasmine’s. We had a small garden at the back, so when we left the back doors open, the smell of that small garden and of the green plot would make its way into the house.

Soon, later in the day, my grandmother’s cooking would take up the scent of the air and it was one of the holiest smell I could ever remember.

Then as the morning events proceded, each scent would follow and arise from different tasks.

The washing of clothes and hanging it on the open terrace had a different smell of its own. I loved every aspect of it. Whilst hanging out the clothes on the terrace, I was gifted with the view of seeing my small town at it’s best every day till I left.

We always came during the monsoon reason, so when it rained. It was a bliss and an escape from the summer heat of Dubai.

When it rained, the drops that would hit the green trees, plants and leaves had a very pleasant smell of its own. The earthy smell when the rain poured down is a wonderful feeling and emotion. The raindrops danced on the roof and provided music to everyone’s ears.

Going through the events of the day, different smells and scents would fill up my nose and my mind.

The days of Kerala always carried the best scents and memories.

That was the end of the corridor whiff.

Now as I stepped into the house, another scent masked the house.

The scent of nostalgia masked again, something unexplained. Another array of nostalgic experiences masked me again.

The old memories of Dubai and Kerala, the memories of my family was dug deep from beneath my heart and was played in my mind.

The early mornings of school flashed through my mind, my mom getting ready to come along with me to bid a nice goodbye when I step on to the school bus. Then would come the afternoon where the fresh smell of my mother’s food would mask the entire house.

The afternoon naps, the tutions, the night rides and walks also decided to make its way into the movie being played in my head.

Then the good memories of the weekend also made its entry. Early morning fresh Agarbathi’s lighted by my dad and a nice temple song to wake me up.

It always fascinated me on how certain scents and smells could trigger some of the deepest fresh memories rooted in my mind.

What I have always liked about this entire process and creation was that none of the bad memories and events that took place in my entire life made even the slightest of guest experience in this head of mine when these scents evoked my memories. This was one of those experiences that had pure goodness and only contained happiness in them.

Later then, I would start missing it all but I was happy that I had these to cherish and they were only mine to be. I was happy and grateful that all of it happened.

How can those same whiffs of scents be recreated when I am at a place far far away from the source? How can these scents be recreated? Why do these scents play back those memories? How and why are always the two questions I have and I have never found a clear answer to it till this day.

This intrigues me.

Despite all my doubts and quests for an answer, The world is a wonder and so is the universe and the galaxy.

These are some of the mysterious workings of the world that I like and would always want as my constant wherever my life takes me and at any age.