I can’t sleep

I can’t sleep because of the weight of the galaxy I carry inside my body

I can’t sleep because of the stars that light up in my soul

I can’t sleep because the stars have lost their way to reach the midnight skies

I can’t sleep because of the crack of the dawn in the skies

I can’t sleep when I am awake because I am out here sitting on the ledge staring out at the skies behind my window

Its a clear baby blue sky with an orange stripe painted right across it

I hear the birds chip signalling the start of a new morning

However I can’t get myself to sleep despite the touch of the morning

I am afraid I have fallen into the habit of not sleeping at night due to the chores that keep me busy at night

I have failed to see the beauty in the mornings as I wake up

I see the drapes shut of many of the windows out there, as the drapes start to open, I close mine indicating the world that I am down for my slumber

Never being able to get sleep has only been one of the few problems in my life because that happens almost never but it does happen and when it does, it’s usually the sign of a chaos erupting soon

I don’t know what to do but sitting on this narrow ledge near my window seems to be helping quite a bit

This feels movie like

You know the scene where it’s early dawn or dusk and the writer goes out somehwhere seeking for an inspiration or for an answer to the cosmos exisiting within them.

It feels like that right now except for them, it leads to a big climatic search and for me, it feels ordinarly extraordinary but carries an undertone of a MacGuffin.

I am starring in my own movie, just not without any cameras or an audience to see it all unfold

As I am staring out into the abyss listening to country music, I have realised how beauitful they are, matching up to the slow excitement of the sunrise. I have realized how decieving they can be with thier words but still manage to create a charm in the listner.

Hues of Pink have started to come into the view and I can see a blend of pink, red, orange and white join to create a thin cloud trail spread and strech across the sky

I have stayed up all night to witness one of the many miracles of life uninteionally and can i say was it worth it?

It has but it still hasn’t made me want to lie down and drowse

The blend of colours have now painted itself across the skies, fusion itself with blue evoking different feelings in me

I see that very same blend trail across the skies just like a shooting star plumetting down to earth. What could you be? A symbol, a metaphor?

Universe, would you kindly tell me the mysterious ways in which you work

I have now witnessed the miracle of life

What now?

Waking up to a good mood

Very few are those days where you delightfully wake up to a good start. I am having one of those days right now. Living and breathing it.

Today is a Wednesday and usually, Wednesday’s are my day off but I had lost that privilegeΒ because of an internship I am doing. No complaints but I really do miss having a holiday in the middle of the week after all those lectures. That one day off to unwind, relax and catch up.

This blog post was an impromptu one, I needed to remember this day and how it felt. I wanted all of you to know that days like these do exist and can be created by us. Some of the factors in the universe can be controlled by us, some of them…

So naturally, I knew this day was going to be good because it’s a holiday and for the first time I felt so relaxed at the start of the day. An appointment that I had today or so I thought was actually on MarchΒ 19th. So when I heard that news as well, my heart and body were so elated because I was able to stay at home, read, listen to some music and watch some Netflix and youtube.

The day starts off right after you get the sleep of your heart’s content. After scrolling through my phone it was high time for me to get out from the comfort of my bed and take a calming warm shower and wash my greasy hair. Listening to music whilst in the shower was another privilege becauseΒ I could soak it all in, the layers of music and thoroughly enjoy it. You know you are living life through simple joys like these.

After the shower, one puts on clothes, and as soon as I opened the curtains, I was welcomed with the warmest of sunrays, so warm and so cold on my skin. I looked out and saw the streets unwind; some of the people bustling out on the streets and with the window ajar a bit, I let the wind caress my hair. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the serendipity of it all.

Now, I did not want this brightness to slip away into the dark. I did not want to lose it like how the tears got lost in the rain. I wanted to bask in it for as long as possible. So what to do indeed was the question?

Rather than loafing around, I decided to include fragments of what makes me happy and I also wanted to get the most of it. So I decided to combine happiness with work. Doing my reading for university and writing for fun. Combining both of my interests to turn this day into a happy and a good one.

You could try as this well, combing what you love and what you love in your work and I hope that it helps you create a good day. With some music as well, I guarantee it’s going to be bliss. It’s important to have that good music because they inspire you in so many ways and they can also sometimes be the sole responsibility of either shaping or breaking your mood.

These days might get lost in the memory as time goes on, I would not expect myself to remember these days but having them and living through them is what can get us through life. To play and be in that role is important because it is vital to remind ourselves, there are good days.

As I struggle to find the words to end this, I am thinking as to what more I can give you without pushing you away or you mentally or physically rolling your eyes at me.

So as I am listening to The Morning Stroll playlist on Spotify, I know how to end this now.

 

Enjoy life, take a break to pause, reflect and be in it. Take a break to be happy do what makes you happy. Bask it all in. Step out into the sunshine and let that do the work. Let yourself be in it.Β 


-Roshni Marath Jairaj