Let me paint you a picture here. A picture of what I did. I roamed around these streets filled with skyscrapers that soared up so high in the sky. I knew they are so high because I simply could not get them all to fit in one frame on the shot I wanted to take. I feel oddly at home even though the home I once was in was miles away. I felt at home when I came here, I guess it was those big blue windows that reflected light made it home. It was perhaps those big skyscrapers in the city and the bay front I once knew of made it home. After admiring the building, I walked along the bay, A view that needed admiration. Everything lining up waiting to be awed and gawked upon. I took selfies of myself being happy and silly to capture these moments, so that when I look back on these pictures, I am able to remember the moment and what I liked to do. Looking at the water, then onto the buildings and the statues felt pleasant and calm. It gave me a whiff of nostalgia and provided me with the city magic I needed. I was alone in this adventure of mine. Right beside the bay walk, there was a small green ground where the food festival was about to take place. I saw families, friends, couples walk hand in hand smiling and admiring. I liked the presence of myself. I could not create any chaos or unhappiness to myself in such places. I admire being in them but could not help on how it would feel if I were to be with family, friends or a lover. A moment of happiness couldn't seem to last longer than a few minutes before the storm hits my family. It doesn't happen all time but it happens. I wasn't keen on taking that chance, not today. I saw people eat the delicacies from different stalls with their friends and family. Enjoying and laughing, having a good time. Being around this whole celebration and looking at it made me feel awkward. It made me feel like I was supposed to be with someone, anyone just so that I could pass as someone blending with the crowd. I then looked around if there were people like me, alone and enjoying. Not a lot were there but yes, there were some. I realized then, why am I being so bothered about this? I am having fun and enjoying. Isn’t that the point after all? Why risk bringing a factor that could cause you to frown and worry? The past and the present has made me afraid to bring along a family along with these adventures. My happiness fades away as soon as a dispute occurs. It happens quite commonly. Sometimes I think it is me. I think I could be the reason these moments of unhappiness occur. The past and the present are continuously proving so. This is why I venture out alone, not that I don’t mind it most of the times, but sometimes when it gets lonely, it is good to have a hand with you. I look out to the world and then look at the other people Is it something that’s wrong with me or am I just different with my approach? I wish I had something of that sorts. This is all I know This is what I know how to do I was right after all. I ended up to go on and have a great time being in the celebrations. It was because there was no one in that present moment who was capable to ruin my happiness and contentment I felt. For a fact I know that I love to explore by myself and I can do it wherever and whenever. There is a unique fun that lies in that. You are the controller of the day, if you screw up you have no one else to blame but yourself. There is no one to pin point and blame you for the mistakes caused. No sort of remarks to bring you down. You get to do what you want and manipulate the day to your likings. It is all you and some times it is good.
I love to get into this zone pretty quick.
Lately I have been addicted to watching Youtubers again and watching them work and thier week in thier lives videos gets me inspired, productive and happy to do my own tasks.
It gets me into a better mood and I am instantly drawn to work hard and be productive. What is it about Youtubers and thier videos that makes you want to do that?
Also listenting to happy music, mostly old disney throwbacks and also songs from Musicals or songs that sound like the ones from Musicals.
It’s easy to get into that mood but also equally very quick to fall out of it. This mood itself is a vibe and a state of mind. Pure happiness arises from this for me.
So I have decided to call this mood, ” The Hap”
I get into The Hap by following some of these steps. Often I like to mix and match out of the lot. Sometimes, just doing one out of the bunch gets me going fine.
1. I get into this zone by first watching some good Youtube videos from my favourite channels.
Different days, different emotions, different channels serve different purposes.
Currently I am loving everything that Danielle Marie Carolan has been uploading. Her videos give me a sense of productvitiy, happiness and well aestehtcis which gets me hyped, interested, motivated and energized to do my work. On the top of my head, the youtubers who inspire me are Ruby Granger, Studywithjess and Kalyn Nicholson.
This also includes podcasts, they sort of set me into the mood that I wish to go into. Gals on the go is one of them also a podcast series by Kalyn Nicholson on I-tunes that I have started listenting to.
2. My hype songs are an instant mood blaster.
This usually comprises of old school music from my past. The nostalagisa energy songs and also the songs that give out those good vibes. It can take you into a totally differennt path or give you the enerhgy you need. It again depends on what mood you are in and what mood you want to see yourself in.
For starters here are some of the many songs that get me going.
- Avicii: The Nights, Wake Me up
- Frank Sinatra: New York theme, Fly me to the moon
- Echsomith: Bright
- Michael Buble: Haven’t met you yet
- Old Cartoon, Disney and Nicklodeon Songs such as those from High School Musical, Hannah Montana and more
- Ellie Goudling: Burn
- Taylor Swift: We are never getting back together, Shake it off
- Brigit Mendler: Ready or not
- One Republic: Coutning Stars
- The Wanted: Glad you came, Chasing the sun
- Any song by One Direction
- Panic at the disco: Hallelujah, I write sins not tragedies, Emperor’s new clothes, Miss Jackson
- 21 pilots: Stressed out
- Fall out boy feat Demi Lavto: Irrestible
- Jonas Brothers: Burning up
- Olly Murs: Trouble maker
- Owl city: Shooting star, good time
- Carly Rae Jepsen: I really like you
- Enrique Iglesias: Bailando the english version
- Alvaro Soler: Sofia, El Mismo Sol, Libre
- Monika Lewczuk: Ty I Ja ( In this song, it’s more of the video and it’s aestehtics.)
3. After the long productive hours of work, a break is always well desreved. So I sit and watch some of Youtube or a good comedy show on Netflix or I just watch cartoons because they just make me happy and ends up helping me loose up all the stress knots.
4. A small work out. It really does help, even if it’s walking for 20 minutes or a seven minute excercise. It helps your body just energize and fresh. That’s how it helps me. It motivates me to do more and I feel that I can conquer the world.
5. The weather also plays a role.
Over here in Nottingham, it’s quite unpredictable but I can figure out most of the time. My essentials are a jacket, umbrella and gloves. You have no idea when it might get cold. So I usually prefer the days where it’s sunny and cold with a sligh grace of rain which infact did happen and resulted in a very beautiful rainbow that did cheer me soul mate.
Back in Dubai, I just used to walk out on the streets at the peak of sunset. It sure was a beautiful tranisiton from dusk to dawn. The beaches are also the perfect solution.
6. Walks usually also do the trick as well.
Maybe after a well desreved study session or before a study session, do hitch the roads. With some good music, you are good to go and it helps a lot. This mostly are the ways I would like to end my day with, but morning walks do also bring an instant glow up to the whole day.
I love walking during these two times of the day, one is the early morning, before the sun rise and the later is the one after the whole world falls asleep and I am there with my music all alone and the world being my stage, I am free to do whatever I wish and want. Peace, solace and comfort is what arises out of them and I couldn’t be more at home.
Driving at the nights is also one of the best remedies to ever exisit in this world. The feeling that you get out of it, it’s pure magic.
It’s just you, the music and the whole wide world.
7. Right now, the holidays seem to be coming.
November and then BAM December.
Tis the season to be jolly.
So the christmas music is what also gets me going!! Last Christmas by Wham has always been my jam when it comes to the holiday seasons. My productivity level also seems to increase during this time of the year.
Seeing the streets light up and the mornings bright up sure does whisk a sort of magic in the air and in me.
Why wait for 2019 to start of on your visions and ideals? Any time is the best to get into what you wish, want to be and want to do. It’s your hard work and dedication going in anyway, no matter what day, year and time it is.
So why not start now than later?
– Roshni Marath Jairaj
17th September 2018
So here lies the end…
An end to all the learnings.
It was a very enlightening experience indeed.
I have learnt some different philosophies of lives and I am happy to say that I have incorporated a bit of each into my life. I am learning and trying, after all I am just a human.
It also feels a bit ovewhelming and tiring reminding myself of these philosophies at each and every moment when things go bad. It gets hard.
So I try to take 5 deep breaths. In that 5 deep breaths, I think and evaluvate, I let myself be calm and not overreact. I try to think before I do or say anything. I think about what I have learnt in this week. It helps me.
Trust me, I have quite the bit of the temper and a difficult mentality and reaction to changes and I know giving out advice is easy but following them is very hard. But I have to try. I can be equally optimistic and pessimistic. It’s like a balance but I try really hard not to let the bad affect me because it would not destroy me but also destory the ones that I love. We can’t be a saint and a positive goodie tosho at all times, but if it’s possible we can try. Trying is one step close to suceeding.
The world and the life that I live can have some bad days but they won’t last forever, probably some of it’s effects might, but that’s the thing about life. One can never truly be a 100% happy, but we can try.
I look forward to life teaching me more and I look forward for all the lessons that lie ahead.
This is my last post whilst I am in Dubai.So this week of learnings has prepared me for that ride and journey. Until next time, my beautiful home, family and friends. It’s a tough ride, even though I am completely not up for it, I still do have to go.
It’s all going to be worth it, some day. I can’t wait for that some day to happen, while it may take some time, I am going to try and make the best of the life that I am having right now.
Quote to end the day
Some things are worth it in the long run and this ride is.
-Roshni Marath Jairaj