Afraid, Scared and beyond

We all have things that we are afraid and scared of. Synonyms of the same feeling but all carrying a minute difference.

Upon further research, I present to you the difference between these words.

‘Scared’ is an adjective used to indicate fear or anxiety. A scared person is nervous or frightened about something.

‘Afraid’ is used as an adjective too, and it literally means ‘filled with fear’.  So we might imagine a person so full of the feeling of fear that they cannot think about anything else.

To indicate a higher level of fear, the words ‘frightened’ or ‘terrified’ can be used.  While these are synonyms of ‘scared’ and ‘afraid’ they can be used to indicate a more sudden or reactive fear. “

This brings me to my next question. Can one experience all at the same time? I guess so because I know that I am juggling with all these adjectives at the same time.

Look at me go while I use all these synonyms

Scenario 1

I am scared about my future plans

I am afraid about putting my future plans into action and being afarid when things go awry. I am bold to step into the light but I am equally afraid and insecure about what I can do which brings me down.

I am terrified that I will not be able to achieve any of my dreams and goals.

I am frightened and terrified thinking of the possibility of where my life is going and when failed or if nothing goes according to plan, what do I do?

Scenario 2

I am scared thinking of the possibility of living a life after my family leaves me.

I am afraid of this thought duanting every aspect of my life. I am afraid of this truth.

I am terrified to ever live in this truth. I am terrfied of what will be of me after this horror.

I am frightened to live in a world without my family because I would be loosing my pillar of everything.

Scenario 3

I am scared of confronting or talking about my feelings to the others because of the inconvience I would put them in.

I am afraid when confronted. I am afraid to think of the ‘what if’ situations.

I am terrfied and hate myself because of the damage I do to myself and everyone around me.

I am frightened to let go of the people I love the most because of my inadequate behaviour to not be upfront or by hiding everything I feel.

Scenario 4

I am scared of loosing my friends.

I am afraid my friends or people who I wish to be friends with would not understand me or would leave me as soon as they discover something bad about me.

I am terrified and always think of reasons as to why my friends would leave me someday. The reason would always be me doing something. It could be the only rational explanation. It always is me.

I am frightened that this quality in me would render me alone for a very long time.

Scenario 5

I am scared of loosing my sense and style of writing

I am afraid of them being stripped away from me. I am afarid of loosing my touch with them.

I am terrfied of the thought of loosing them because when or if I do, who am I? What am I? What makes me different from everyone else? How else would I tell my stories and pour out my heart?

I am frightened that I will no longer be heard or seen. Once I am stripped away from my words, I fear that I won’t have an identity that makes me original.

I am frightened and terrified to loose my words because my words tell a lot about who I am. I am scared of loosing my uniqueness to a world filled with more mystery and uniquess.

I try very hard to not let the synonyms of terror haunt me but there are just some of those days that the strongest house you have built for yourself will fall apart.

The thing about a house is that you can also build it back up, stronger and sturdier. I should just make sure to not be crushed under the debris permanently.

Some Times, Many Times

Some times, I wish I did not have to account other people’s feelings into consideration before I erupt.

Many times, I unfortunately do so and then regret it the moment later. I am now learning to care more and I understand that now.


Some times, I wish I did not live in a world where life is this unfair.

Many times, I have no other choice but to live in this unfair world.


Some times, I wish I had all the time in the world to do everything I want without the need to worry for money

Many times, I fantasise about doing so but ultimately fantasies lead you no where. So I am doing my best and working hard so that I have the money to do everything I want and hope.


Some times, I wish I did not have to live a life where I only remember sorrows and seeds of hate

Many times, I have now realised this is the life I was given and there is nothing I could do to change it


Some times, I wish I could share more

Many times, I understand why I haven’t


Some times, I wish not to be consumed by the idea of love knowing what I expect will never happen

Many times, I let it happen


Some times, I wish I could leave for the woods and a city like New York

Many times, what I do instead is I listen to music and watch videos that make it possible


Some times, I wish I was more creative and not filled with remorse or self doubt about what I could do

Many times, I believe I am more than what I think and believe but my doubts plague me down

Some times, I loose my sleep and mind thinking if I will ever make it

Many times, I doubt if I would make it and Many times, I have hope that I will make it.


Some times, I wish the world could be a better place in terms of everything

Many times, I wish the world could be a better place in terms of everything and I try doing my bit to make this world a better place for everyone and everything. When it succeeds, I am happy and inspired to do more.


Some times, I wish I had not watched that many movies which have now influenced me to think that my life could perhaps be like that

Many times, I am glad I have watched those movies because that is the only way I could ever live a life like that


Some times, I wish I did not have to feel so much

Many times, I am glad I could feel the way I feel


Many times, I feel my heart shatter at the sight of homeless people and the jobs one needs to do to have a living. I wonder what can I do to help? Then I realize, by growing up and getting a job, I can do my bit for them.


Some times, I wish I could do something about the dark desires I want to do

Many times, I have chosen not to act on it because I do not want to take part in painting the world red contributing to everything bad


Many times I wish I did not feel a burst of sadness and sympathy when I look at old people who remind me of my grandparents

Some times are the only times I take an action to spend time with them.


Many times I wish I were not engrossed in my laptop and on my phone

Sometimes I decide to spend some time in the outside world with my family and that time is actually worth spending.


Some times, I wish I was not given this life. I wish I had been offered a choice for a life I wanted to lead

Many times, I am glad I got this life but the hope still lingers


Some times, I am envious when people think of my life not exciting as other

Many times, I simply do not care and move on


Some times, I wish I had a sibling so that I would never fear being alone when my parents leave me

Many times, I am glad I am the only child in my family because I love that I am the sole receiver of all their love


Many times, I wish I could lie down in a room so high with a view that overlooked the city lights listening to music that make me feel everything

Many times, I find myself wishing to be in a cabin in the woods amongst the forest listening to the rain and writing

Many times, I find myself dreaming of being in an apartment so high where I could see the rays of the sun spread across the whole city.


Many times, I wish I could honour every promise I have made to everyone I ever love

Some times in many, I have honoured those promises


Some times, I wish I had a best friend who was all to myself. A best friendship like Miley and Lilly, Alex and Harper and like the F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Many times, I am so blessed to be in best friendships unique and happy to me.


Many times, I dream about a love so great that the whole world will write stories about someday.

Many times, I understand the probability of it not happening. Many times, I come to terms of my reality and what is offered.


Many times, I wish I was handed a childhood where I did not have to see my parents fight a lot.

Some times, I wish the Armageddon would come and sweep it all away.


Many times, I wish I did not have regrets in life to look back upon

Some times, I realise those regrets were needed for me to learn but I cannot help thinking on how they could have been avoided. I guess that is just my mind. Never satisfied.


Many times, I wish I had not kept so many secrets from my parents. I wish I could have let them know it all but I know I will be judged, possibly even worse.


Many of the times, I dwell in the nostakgaix of my childhood and wish I were trapped in that state forever

Many of the times, I am glad I am growing up to be more independent and free because I can edit my own path and see where it goes. I am happy for the freedom I get and for the chances I can take. I am also happy because of the progress in growing up because I get to be further away from all the fights I have to witness.


Some times, I wish I never left my home

Many times, I am glad I did but then I weep at stages


Many times, I wish people could see me through my eyes and not theirs

Some times, I am glad that is not the case because through different eyes, different and unique perspectives come out and you learn a lot more that way. You know they like you or do not like for who you are from their eyes and not from the monstrous eyes you have. It makes things slightly better in many ways.


Many times, I wish I could be happy with the way I am

Some times, I am very ecstatic and proud and then the other times I am not and I wish I could change every single detail about myself.


Many times, I wish I could show people the changes I wish they could bring upon themselves

Some times, I ponder on why they can’t see what they do.


Many times, I wish life had not handed me the atrocious parts in a sliver platter

Some times, I understand why life handed me them. To make me grow or I deserved it?


There are going to be plenty of these some and many times in my life and I know I can do something about it or nothing at all.

I will try and achieve as many of these some and many times in my life but also what I like to do instead is to fantasise and think of the possibilities rather than end my misery because there is something in this misery that keeps my mind alive and ticking.