Writing is grace

(If you would have the time, do listen to this song as you read this, it would create a special touch. Making this post as personal and emotional like me)

It has been one year since I started this small world of mine and I have never been more estactic in my life. I have finally found a way to share years worth of my works and many more to come.

This post is in honour to the passion that started it all. “Writing”

I watch these writers have a way with words. How they take the most simplest of words in thier language and turn into such a delightful art to be feasted upon.

I want to believe I too possess that skill of wooing myself and the readers out there. I want to believe that I too posess the talent to evoke and create emotions and feelings through what I write.

I like having these monologues with myself. The ones in the movie where the writer describes his/her life and the simplest of actions. As I write this I have this voice in me narrating over every bit of this piece. Watching the movie Under The Tuscan Sun gave me a creative inpsiration to write this.

I admire how the writers in these movies have a way to beautifully deliver their thoughts. With a voice so enchanting and filled with the most sincere and raw emotions, it is hard to not find yourself wanting to achieve that same level of grace.

To write is a a holy grail that many have seeked but very few sought have achieved. Having your way with words, stringing them together, achieveing the effect you want to. It is magic that I only dream of.

Somewhere deep in my small heart, I believe I have posessed this skill that I have seeked but frankly I do not know I know this or what makes me think I can say this. It is just a belief, a power to keep us going.

I do not know whose steps I follow or who I am inspired by? I can say that I am inspired by many.

Am I copying a form that has always been there or am I creating a path of my own with what I write?

What I write, do they achieve the effect of truth and originality like I wish for? Do they create a sense of emotion?

I do not know what people want or what they desire to see, but I hope my words and imagination can open up a world with new different possibilites and I sincerely hope that in this world that no one should ever have the overwhelming surge to fill in shoes for a person they don’t want to be.

In honour of one year of writing and more. Thank you all for being part of this journey…

What am I good at?

So just two days back, I was having this talk with my dad for something imporant and I don’t know how the conversation was exactly. I guess it was something about hobbies or something else, but something in that conversation sparked my doubting self to think and wonder what was my speciality.

What am I good at?

I know many people and they all are good at something and they say it with confidence. They do not have to ponder and think if they are good at it, they know they are and they do not mean it as a way of self boast or praise. They are just confident and it’s good to know that.

Over here, I am wondering I do have quite a lot of hobbies or things I do, but am I good at it?

If you have to ask me what I am good at, I would say I like writing and well watching movies and tv shows, but being good at it, I don’t know. I mean how can you possibly go wrong with tv shows, movies and fandoms?

Whereas in the other case, my pieces of work, I am proud of it and happy with it but I don’t know if I can say I am good at writing. I would like to think of myself as being a good writer but what really confirms that notion?

Do people’s critique stand as a factor to determine how good am I in what I do? Thier comments, likes and appreication, is that how I know, we all know?

I do believe that I do have quite the creative and imaginative skills inside my head, but most of the times I tend to not express it out because I just don’t know and most of the times, I do like to keep it in my head. My head is a place where I can control and create and if there was some sort of way where I can show it. I would.

Again coming back to the million dollar question, WHAT AM I GOOD AT? How do I know? How do I answer this to myself and to others?

Do I know I am good only if I achieve something with it or am I good when other people recognize it or is it an understanding from within? I don’t seem to understand.

Let’s leave the creative set of skills aside and come down to the personality traits? When Buzzfeed quizzes have these questions, “which word would you use to describe yourself or how would your friends describe you? ” I honestly can’t decide which trait to choose? How do I know I am good at it?

I have different traits some more prominent than others and with different best friends, some show more than the other and some don’t. I know how to describe myself but what about my friends?

I feel confident in taking role of skills such as goofy, weird, crazy, sometimes funny and organized but when friends decide these other skill sets, am I good at it? Probably so.

The question again comes down to it, Am I good at those skills?

This English litearture and language degree I am doing, I love it but what determines whether I am good at it and what determines it would be grades and knowledge of it. I do have the knowledge for it but some of the times, it’s the grades that’s hard to get.

So does that mean I am not good in what I do? Will the people see beyond my grades and look at the passion, hard work, love I have for this subject. Will they believe I can do it? I do believe in myself, I just wish other people could see it too. I wish future employers would look at my knowledge and passion I can put in rather than my grades mostly.

Knowing myself, I overthink a lot and this overthinking voice of mine questions every thought, affirmation and reaffirmation of mine making it an impossible task to settle down with a calm and reassuring reason.

If anyone out there has an answer to this question of mine, please do tell me.

Master Yoda or Obi Wan Kanobi or any of the Avengers, do tell me because you would clearly know. I think I would like to hear from Tony Stark because he would be more realistic with the advice. I wouldn’t mind hearing from Thanos because who wouldn’t like to hear a difference and variety in an opinion.