Speaking up.

We desire to make change. We desire to make change for the world. We do change the world in some way or an other but to make a change that would impact us to the very core, we need something big.

Let us take our lives for example, we desire to make changes. Knowingly or unkowingly, we do make changes. For the good or for the bad, that is on us.

Just when I think, we are in a different time and an era where we are trying to progress for the good, the world and its leaders are just out there trying to break down the process of making humanity good.

All these crimes against everyone, we speak about it, we voice out our opinions, we do so much but is anything happening? Are their cold and inhumane hearts warming up to humanity?

Yes, things are happening! Moments of strength, bravery and courage has led us this far and has opened new doors to everyone but we still have a lot to go keep going for.

There are times when I think about the most henious and depressing state of our contries and about the crimes that have been taking place since a long time.

It makes you wonder if your voice is reaching out there. It makes you want to pause for a moment and wonder if this is going anywhere. Will anything happen? People have been doping it for ages and what difference is your voice going to make. Everyone has been trying, yet we all are stuck in the same boat just inches away from where we have left. We need to cross the whole ocean to reach at the place we desire.

At the same time, I am proud of us for speaking out and uniting against the wrong doings commited by people. When we speak out, we make the world aware of what is going on. By using our voices, we inform and let people know. We should continue to do so.

I admire those people who risk their lives to get the truth out. They are the brave ones out of the lot.

I know there will be times when we wonder if our actions lead us anywhere and sometimes the results won’t be flattering but that shouldn’t stop us because that is what those people want. The moment we give up, that’s when they win.

So let’s keep fighting till we see the change we want to see. Sometimes the fights stop and then a new fight starts. So let’s keep battling throughout our life but let’s also stop to take a breather once in a while.

The thing about yesterday

27th July 2018 Friday 2:00 PM 

It happened yesterday

It dawned upon me when I was sleeping

Nights always was and became the times for contemplation and hard truths

Soon, this month was going to end and the next month would dawn upon us in  a few days

Time to go back to university and to return to that life was hitting close now.

My mother was sleeping next to me and the thought of returning back shuddered me and I hugged her as tight as possible not wanting to let go.

I tried to close my eyes, empty my mind and sleep

I tried to think about things that made me laugh and of things that made me happy.

I tried to think of things that made me squeal with excitement and even the dark psychotic thoughts that made me want to kill the world

I tried to change the course of my mind’s direction through different ways but to no avail, it all eventually came down to the path of sadness and despair of leaving home and returning back to the “uni life”

I tried to hold it all in, the thought of leaving my mom, dad, my friends and my home.

I tried to contain it in. I really did try

I was a bomb that had to explode after all in order to contain myself

Then the tears started to flow down from my face bit by bit

Moments before it turned into an emotional breakdown, I once again hugged my mom tight, it was as if my brain was trying to remember and register even the tiniest of details about her before I leave.

I once again tried to stop the outburst but it was too late.

Mothers, they know everything

She sensed it all and asked whether I was crying

In my broken tiny voice, I simply answered no and then I proceeded to cry out loud and remained in her arms

She always knew what to say

She hugged me tightly, wiped my tears, told me what I needed to hear

I stayed in her arms crying for a long time

Crying and crying, I drifted off to sleep

I knew my cries and worries affected her, she always told me how bothered and upset she was when I cried

I always wondered what I would do without her, how I would live without her, all these thoughts deeply disturb me every day, I try not to think about it often but at every step in the walk of my life, that thought always lurks around me like a monster and a shadow never vowing to leave me ever.

All I could do is pray and pray.

She would do anything to see a smile on my face and for my future

She kept all her pains and troubles with her, very rarely does she show me her tears

She is a strong woman and I admire her so much

She is my strength and weakness

She does have her flaws, but after all, she is just human

No words could ever amount to the feelings I have for my mother

No words could ever capture the great deeds and things she has done for me and this family

I eagerly wait for that someday, a day where I can take my mother to a world only filled with happiness and joy.

She does justice to the word “mother”

We both are companions to each other

We both only have each other in this big world.

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Special mention: To all the mothers out there, without you, the world would be incomplete. 

Thank you for everything. 

Thank you Amma for being there. I love you